DREW and COREY EP.1- PILOT
SCENE IV(COREY and DREW are now awkwardly sitting amongst each other in DREW’s car.)
DREW-So…what do you do?
DREW-Do you have a job? Do you…kill people, I don’t know, do you do something to pass the time?
COREY-I accidentally killed a cat before. (DREW looks over at him with shock.) What, it kept scratching me, so I threw it off me…the poor thing snapped in two on the side of a tree.
DREW-Oh my god…!
COREY-I know…nine lives my butt.
DREW-…(Begins to laugh)
COREY-(Pauses.Confused.) What? What’s so funny?
COREY-Yeah, I said butt…so what?
COREY-Yes, the two cheeks that help push poop out of your belt.
DREW-You don’t say s***?
COREY-(Scoffs) WHOA! Don’t! Just! Don’t!
DREW-Oh wow…you don’t cuss…?
DREW-Oh…(He keeps looking back and forth between the road and COREY.)
COREY-Don’t look at me! You’re gonna hit someone else. (They both grow quiet. COREY keeps looking down at the radio before finally turning it on. He jumps for joy when he realizes the song playing on the radio.) BOMB!
COREY-It’s slang. Come on “BRO”. That’s slang too, “BRO”.
DREW-Yeah, I get bro. I mean, why bomb?
COREY-Bomb, something that explodes into a huge fiery cloud.
COREY-Well…don’t you like watching things get blown up?
DREW-Yeah, I suppose so.
DREW-…I still don’t follow why “bomb” is slang.
DREW-I’m a junior?
COREY-(Looks closely at DREW)…yeah, we’ll go with that. (Soon COREY begins to bob his head and starts to sing to the song. Surprised, DREW turns over to COREY.)
COREY-Huh? Yeah a little.
DREW-A little? That sounded pretty damn-
DREW-Darn…uh-d-darn…(Shakes it off.) You’re good.
COREY-(He shrugs and gives a big toothy smile while.) Yeaaaaaaaaah…
DREW-Are you singing for the talent show?
COREY-(Worried) Uh-uhm…no-of course not.
COREY-NO! I’m doing-I’m doing…I’m doing a magic trick.
DREW-A magic trick, huh?
DREW-The magic trick, show me.
COREY-Show you? Like…right now? I-I-I-uh…I don’t have…cards.
DREW-Oh…(He pauses before finally thinking of something. He pulls down his glove box and removes a pack of cards from it.) Here
COREY-…you have a deck of cards in your car…
DREW-One weekend in Vegas with a cousin. Crazy time, you know? (COREY looks hopelessly up at DREW.) Okay, maybe you don’t know, regardless here’s your cards. Do the trick.
COREY-Ya see…(Looks around and then whispers.) Magic isn’t real.
COREY-Yeah, it’s true! I have to use my “special” cards, my rigged cards.
DREW-Oh, yeah, right…
COREY-I’d show you, but you know…magician’s oath.
DREW-An oath? What’s the oath?
DREW-The oath, what’s the magician’s oath?
COREY-Uh…uhm…the oath…well…the oath is…(Takes a deep breath.) Rabbits live in hats…?
COREY-What, you don’t believe me?
DREW-You’re not doing a magic trick for the talent show-
DREW-Why did you say you were?! Are.you.singing.in.the.talent.show!?
COREY-Why do you care if I do or not? Is it because you and that ginger kid of yours is doing something musically inclined as well?
DREW-(Goes to speak, but retracts.)Uuuhm…(Laughs)…no?
COREY-I know you are! My girlfriend told me! You’re intimidated by me and what I’m doing at the talent show! (He opens his door.)
DREW-What are you doing?
COREY-I’m getting out of here. You, my good sir are not a friendly person.
DREW-I’m still driving!!!
COREY-Can’t you just do what you want to without feeling like someone else is better than you?
DREW-That’s the whole point, it’s a competition.
COREY-A competition, not war!
DREW-Okay…look, I’m sorry. (He pulls over and parks his car.)
COREY-Why’d you stop?
DREW-If you wanna leave, that’s fine, but I just wanna apologize…I think you have a great voice and…I wish you the best of luck at the talent show. (COREY just stares at him. Both are now sitting in silence.)
COREY-…this is getting a little weird…
DREW-…yeah, just a little…
COREY-I accept your apology and I have heard your mouth skills.
DREW-Please don’t say that again.
COREY-Sorry…good luck to you as well. (He gets out of the car.)
DREW-Wait, where are you going?
COREY-I’m walking home.
DREW-You don’t want a ride?
COREY-Are you serious? After that intimate of a conversation? We’re not even friends, barely acquaintances. I don’t even have your name on my phone. We’re not friends on facebook!!!
DREW-What’s your point?
COREY-It’ll be awkward. You don’t see it, but it will be.
DREW-You’re so full of it, just get in.
DREW-Just, come in. Get in!
DREW-GET IN!!! (COREY scoffs and then looks both ways from the car and the long road ahead. He sighs.)
(They are now both sitting in the car again in complete silence for a few seconds.)
COREY……….told you it would be awkward-