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Tragic Parallel

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Author's note: I hope people will think about the working's of a dark mind, of how our society puts a grave...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: I hope people will think about the working's of a dark mind, of how our society puts a grave pressure on kids to uphold odd standards. I was inspired by the works of Fydor Dostoevsky and Gus van Sant.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 11 Next »

Linear

An unknown instrument of morality, the bus crept to a halt, the final stop before the school. It was this stop that sparked the boy’s interest, for through the swinging yellow jaws of the beast came his adversary. Averagely tall, with an athletic build synonymous to his short sandy hair that curled up along the ends. He wore a black bag traced in silver, various hackneyed sports logos sparkled all along the flaps. His shirt brandished another logo, though of a clothing brand. Girls giggled as he came, choosing a seat nestled in a group of especially ditzy cheerleaders. A few athletic boys sat with him as well, hassling him around and joking with him as if they were the best of friends.
The emperor stares upon the undignifying scene, hatred like a weight dragging at the bottom of his eyes. Worms, he thought of his opposite’s friends, parasites feeding from his popularity, his social standing. They were pathetic, lacked self-respect, yet still so tragically obsessed with their status; a deplorable brand of consumerism. And the filth that spewed from their mouths! Meaningless. They were like husks, beings without character, without definition. Worthless bodies that could be ridden of—no must be ridden of.
The very plan of the young emperor, to pose judicator for a trial he believed was far past due.
Within minutes, the bus halted before a complex that appeared to be a lifeless arrangement of boxes, each an opposing size, stacked and placed randomly as if to convey abysmal confusion. Other buses lined the crescent moon driveway of the school, dumping students onto the premises. The last to come off the bus, the boy watched the others file out, pushing and shoving and squeezing and laughing and prodding. He took no part in the regular departure process that seemed to him much like squeezing toothpaste from the tube.
At long last he was on the grounds. He felt all had fallen into place, but he still had to wait to get to class. There, he would carefully exercise every last detail of his maniacal scheme, every last goal his plan hoped to achieve.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 11 Next »


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This book has 4 comments. Post your own now!

CammyS said...
Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:57 am
This was unbelievable. I can't believe you wrote this, for, as MayaS. says, your writing blows my mind. The characters sound so real, with distinct voices but yet both so real. One suggestion I can think of is for you to alternate the characters, do the emperor (I can't remember his name) at home, then Clayton at home. The emperor boarding the bus, Clayton boarding the bus. Also wouldn't everybody be in their classrooms at the time, instead of out in the halls? Amazing work, simply a... (more »)
 
Romanovich replied...
Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Thank you, I appreciate it! As far as the perspectives go (the emperor is nameless) the original formatting was four pages for each perspective, each written straight with no chapters.  Then this site wanted me to split it into chapters, so I just took out snap shots capable of describing in one word.  That probably altered the way it reads quite a bit.
 
CammyS replied...
Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:30 am
Ah, that does make more sense.
 
MayaS. said...
Dec. 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm
1st: Your writing blows my mind. 2nd: Your writing blows my mind. 3rd: Your writing blows my mind.  
 

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