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The Sweetest Rum

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Chapter 3

I think I was really beginning to frighten Lily. I knew I was acting very strangely to her. I was always sitting locked up in my room often times with my hanky in my lap. When I was not doing that I was out parading around with my suitors. The real truth behind my abnormal actions was my fear. The times when I sat in my room I was hiding from Eli. When I paraded about I was looking for searching for that part of me that was better and would help make the rest of me better. Of course Father and Mother were delighted anytime I mentioned a buggy ride and they exchanged knowing appreciative glances. After only a week or so I had narrowed or rationalized my suitors to one, or two if you counted Eli. This one was Taylor Rhode son of some rich fancy man in Philadelphia. Taylor was also the man I was going to attend the barn dance with. I had no love or even casual liking for Taylor, but he was wild and adventurous and distracting. He took my mind off of the important things like Eli and the Sons of Liberty.
I finished pulling up my straw colored ringlets and putting on my pearls for the barn dance just as a heard buggy wheels outside the door. I smiled faintly at my reflection and my smile

was returned. I sighed, smoothed my dress, and stepped down the stairs. I could feel a glow of radiance piping from my skin and I basked in the warmth. Eli had told me he would be at the dance, and that made me happy even though those words had come with the ones words saying he could not dance because of the pain. I knew I looked beautiful when I began my descent because of the way Taylor looked up at my me his eyes glistening in a very demeaning way to a lady, but I enjoyed his looks because I hoped it meant maybe Eli would see me too in the way I wished he always would.
Father was standing at the bottom of the stairs and he took my hand as I reached him. With a kiss to my hand he smiled, not a fatherly smile but a soon-to-be father-in-law smile. I did not smile back.
Taylor’s words floated in from some where beside me. “You look mighty handsome Miss Smith” he stuttered taking my hand from my father and leading me to the buggy. I glowed all the way to the dance. When Taylor stopped chatting and called a halt to his horse I had a moment to look up and around at all the other assembling couples. The very first eyes I grasped belonged to the very person I was looking for. I saw him twitch, envious as Taylor helped me to the ground wrapping one hand on my waist and the other in my hand. I stepped down and took Taylor’s arm. I tried to find Eli again in the but I had lost his sandy head when I had shifted my eyes to the ground to get out from the buggy.
Taylor immediately began his usual cheerful chatter that I found so distracting and I listened to him all the while searching for Eli.

“This green dress goes quite perfectly with your green eyes Miss Smith and the cream in it really bring out your rosy cheeks.” He looked a bit to long at my rosy cheeks and I blushed lightly, not easily embarrassed.
“Thank-you sir, My mother said the same when we picked the material.”
“Your mother is a very smart woman with a good taste in fashion.”
“Thank you I’m sure she would be honored very highly by that compliment.”
Taylor looked pleased with himself at complimenting my mother and I suppressed a giggle at his excited expression.
The music began to play and Taylor stepped back from me and bowed asking for my hand in the dance. I agreed as a common courtesy toward his kindness in bringing me. Just as the words left my mouth my eyes locked in on a pair of dark brown ones just behind and over Taylor’s shoulder. I gasped inwardly when I noticed he was headed this way. I had already given Taylor consent and it was proper to dance with him first but I had a feeling deep inside that Eli was going ask me unless he had not already heard that I had given the first dance to Taylor.
I smiled at Eli. Mentally promising him the next dance and hopefully the last if I could give it to him, but he did not see, he solemnly walked away from me, his jaw fighting with jealousy as Taylor led me out to the floor by the hand.
I spun gaily in Taylor’s arms. He was a very avid dancer and matched my liking for the art with all the pleasure I could hope for. But something about the dance still felt empty. I was

missing a very important part in the dance, I think it was mutual affection. Both of us were dancing for the dance not for each other so it did not create the same effect as if we really had had a feeling that made us want to dance with each other specifically.
I enjoyed myself anyway and after the first dance Taylor excused himself to dance with his friend’s younger sister who had never been to a dance before. I smiled and wished him luck with a new dancer, and quickly spirited away to find Eli.
My eyes first checked over the couples still standing on the floor waiting for the next dance to start. I did not see him standing up with anyone so I looked towards the bystanders, he was not to be found amongst the men along the wall. I tried to keep calm but a deep urging forced me to look panicky around the room, my eyes fluttered over every face but I was not directly looking at any them. I gave up and went to be a wall flower. Eli could find me if he was able to dance. I sighed and made an effort to not look like I was not enjoying myself. In between the spinning couples I caught sight of his blue coat across the room. I was almost bolted through all the pairs and ran to him. I brought the foot that had reached out for him beneath my dress, and made my way around the dancers to Eli. I very nearly tripped over everything in my way in my great rush to reach him. I slowed attempt an act of a casual bumping into him. He turned his head when he heard the whispering around him. All eyes were focused on me and somehow I managed not to blush. I think I may have even heard a low, very rude, whistle.
“Eli,” I managed before my disguise of

causality disappeared. “How are you?” I asked, unable to ask him to dance.
The dance had just finished and I knew Taylor was going to be looking for me, and ask for another dance if Eli did not hurry up his act.
Eli must have caught sight of Taylor heading my direction because he wasted no time in securing my hand for the next dance.
“I’ll think you will discover that my ability to dance is quite tolerable. Would you join me in showing these men here how talented I really am? And also how talented you are?” HIs eyes twinkled.
Abashed I agreed frowning at Eli’s quirky smile as he took my arm and escorted me to the line of dancers.
I saw Taylor stop dead when he caught sight of Eli’s arm locked around mine. He looked petrified. I sent him a complimentary smile and he regained composure with a nod at Eli signaling a terrific partner choice..
“You are making Taylor jealous.” I commented as we began to dance.
“He’s already secured you for several dances I need to get my turn.” he replied, I could tell he was willing himself to add something else but he only concentrated on his steps.
“Do you really like him?” he asked suddenly looking worried.
“Of course not. Why would you think I
do?”
“Well, you are letting him follow you around like a wishing puppy. You are leading him on. He thinks he can have your heart.”
“I’m doing it to please my father. I can

not marry him Eli, you know how much that would kill me.” I gave him a pleading expression and saw that the same look was on his own face.
“I know how much it would kill me.” he said looking away.
I bit my lip. Eli was never that open with his feelings. I turned to my steps not looking Eli. The musicians played the last few notes and Eli turned and bowed to me. I curtsied back and he took my hand and kissed it.
“You look absolutely, stunningly, beautiful tonight, Trinity.” he whispered and turned away.
I turned away and hurried out side to where a few lovers were sitting. I collapsed on to a bench and began to breathe very hard. No one paid any attention to me. My eyes were very wide and I had to work very hard to keep the tears from streaming down my face. What had I done? Not only was I suffocating myself, I was killing Eli. I felt a warm body set down next to me. I looked over and saw Taylor’s green coat. He nervously wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Are you okay, love?” he asked. I knew he was referring to Eli. He wanted to
know if he had hurt me. “Did he hurt you?” he asked his hazel
eyes looking compassionate. I almost laughed at the speculation of Eli
hurting me. I had hurt him, but I couldn’t tell Taylor that.
“I’m fine, just a little dizzy.” I lied.
“Do you need to go home?” he asked concerned.
“No it was just for a little bit, I just needed

some fresh air.” I waved off the question. “Well, then are you well enough to
reward me with the next dance.” He was victorious at catching me here and being able to procure me.
I nodded and he stood and then helped me up. He escorted me back into the barn and we lined up to dance, beneath Eli’s cold stare.
I was never without a partner the rest of the night. Whenever anyone did not ask me I was always carried off by Taylor. I did not get to dance with Eli again and he never even made a move like he was going to ask. I tried to tell myself that it was because of his back, but I was a very poor at lying to myself. I could only blame one person for him staying away, myself.
I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the night. Taylor helped me into the carriage and I almost passed out on the way home. I kept my eyes open, not daring to blink and listened to Taylor talk about everyone and everything that had been there or had happened. I just nodded.
He halted his horse at my house, but he did not hop down to help me out. I was instantly reminded of how Eli would enjoy watching me attempt to clamor out of the carriage. I was brought out of the devastating thought by Taylor voice saying my name. I instinctually turned my head to face him. I was completely not expecting him to kiss me but he did. I could not pull away. I wanted to and I did not kiss him back but I let him kiss me. He pulled his head back but reached his hand up to my face. I flinched away and opened my mouth to scold him. but he began to talk first.
“Trinity, thank you for coming with me. I have enjoyed your company immensely.”

He turned away and hopped out of the carriage and appeared at my side and he swung me down out of the carriage. I thanked him weakly and walked in to my house. No one was waiting up for me, they were all in bed. I was glad to have the house to myself. I was so mixed up in my head about everything that had happened. Eli hated my guts and Taylor wanted them. I went to my room and peeled off my dress. The only time Eli had ever noticed the way i looked was the time I now wished he had not. I wished I could still just be the girl who’s hair he pulled at school. We had evolved into so much more. He still teased me, but it was different, Eli had never injured me nor I him as deeply as I felt now.
I remembered the days when I used to run home after school and cry because Eli had been mean. Was that routine about to begin all over again?
I climbed into bed and pulled the covers all the over my head. I refused to cry myself to sleep, but that did not mean that I could not cry in my sleep.
I tossed and turned for several hours getting only snatches of sleep. When I couldn’t force my eyes shut any longer I got up and lit my bedside candle. I curled up into my knees for a self hug before slipping out of bed and going to my book shelf. I needed something to read, something that would take my mind off of everything that had happened.
I found a collection poems by 16th century poets, and brought it back to the bed to read by candle light. I opened up to a random page and there staring at me from the paper was a poem I

needed by Samuel Daniel. Titled Love is a Sickness full of Woes.
Love is a sickness full of woes, All remedies refusing: A plant that with most cutting grows, Most barren with best using.
Why so? More we enjoy it, more it dies,
If not enjoy’d, it sighing cries, Hey ho.
Love is a torment of the mind, A tempest everlasting;
And Jove hath made it of a kind, Not well, nor full nor fasting.
Why so? More we enjoy it, more it dies
If not enjoyd, it sighing cries, Hey ho.
My tears splashed on to the page I dried them away quickly so the ink would not run. I was enjoying Eli’s love and now it was dying. I wondered why I had I not just run off with Eli already. I could do it, no one would miss me. We would just have to get on a ship that goes to Africa and then that would be it. I new it would never happen, especially not now. Not when I had to make sure Eli did not go after Taylor and rip his throat out.I think I was really beginning to frighten Lily. I knew I was acting very strangely to her. I was always sitting locked up in my room often times with my hanky in my lap. When I was not doing that I was out parading around with my suitors. The real truth behind my abnormal actions was my fear. The times when I sat in my room I was hiding from Eli. When I paraded about I was looking for searching for that part of me that was better and would help make the rest of me better. Of course Father and Mother were delighted anytime I mentioned a buggy ride and they exchanged knowing appreciative glances. After only a week or so I had narrowed or rationalized my suitors to one, or two if you counted Eli. This one was Taylor Rhode son of some rich fancy man in Philadelphia. Taylor was also the man I was going to attend the barn dance with. I had no love or even casual liking for Taylor, but he was wild and adventurous and distracting. He took my mind off of the important things like Eli and the Sons of Liberty.
I finished pulling up my straw colored ringlets and putting on my pearls for the barn dance just as a heard buggy wheels outside the door. I smiled faintly at my reflection and my smile

was returned. I sighed, smoothed my dress, and stepped down the stairs. I could feel a glow of radiance piping from my skin and I basked in the warmth. Eli had told me he would be at the dance, and that made me happy even though those words had come with the ones words saying he could not dance because of the pain. I knew I looked beautiful when I began my descent because of the way Taylor looked up at my me his eyes glistening in a very demeaning way to a lady, but I enjoyed his looks because I hoped it meant maybe Eli would see me too in the way I wished he always would.
Father was standing at the bottom of the stairs and he took my hand as I reached him. With a kiss to my hand he smiled, not a fatherly smile but a soon-to-be father-in-law smile. I did not smile back.
Taylor’s words floated in from some where beside me. “You look mighty handsome Miss Smith” he stuttered taking my hand from my father and leading me to the buggy. I glowed all the way to the dance. When Taylor stopped chatting and called a halt to his horse I had a moment to look up and around at all the other assembling couples. The very first eyes I grasped belonged to the very person I was looking for. I saw him twitch, envious as Taylor helped me to the ground wrapping one hand on my waist and the other in my hand. I stepped down and took Taylor’s arm. I tried to find Eli again in the but I had lost his sandy head when I had shifted my eyes to the ground to get out from the buggy.
Taylor immediately began his usual cheerful chatter that I found so distracting and I listened to him all the while searching for Eli.

“This green dress goes quite perfectly with your green eyes Miss Smith and the cream in it really bring out your rosy cheeks.” He looked a bit to long at my rosy cheeks and I blushed lightly, not easily embarrassed.
“Thank-you sir, My mother said the same when we picked the material.”
“Your mother is a very smart woman with a good taste in fashion.”
“Thank you I’m sure she would be honored very highly by that compliment.”
Taylor looked pleased with himself at complimenting my mother and I suppressed a giggle at his excited expression.
The music began to play and Taylor stepped back from me and bowed asking for my hand in the dance. I agreed as a common courtesy toward his kindness in bringing me. Just as the words left my mouth my eyes locked in on a pair of dark brown ones just behind and over Taylor’s shoulder. I gasped inwardly when I noticed he was headed this way. I had already given Taylor consent and it was proper to dance with him first but I had a feeling deep inside that Eli was going ask me unless he had not already heard that I had given the first dance to Taylor.
I smiled at Eli. Mentally promising him the next dance and hopefully the last if I could give it to him, but he did not see, he solemnly walked away from me, his jaw fighting with jealousy as Taylor led me out to the floor by the hand.
I spun gaily in Taylor’s arms. He was a very avid dancer and matched my liking for the art with all the pleasure I could hope for. But something about the dance still felt empty. I was

missing a very important part in the dance, I think it was mutual affection. Both of us were dancing for the dance not for each other so it did not create the same effect as if we really had had a feeling that made us want to dance with each other specifically.
I enjoyed myself anyway and after the first dance Taylor excused himself to dance with his friend’s younger sister who had never been to a dance before. I smiled and wished him luck with a new dancer, and quickly spirited away to find Eli.
My eyes first checked over the couples still standing on the floor waiting for the next dance to start. I did not see him standing up with anyone so I looked towards the bystanders, he was not to be found amongst the men along the wall. I tried to keep calm but a deep urging forced me to look panicky around the room, my eyes fluttered over every face but I was not directly looking at any them. I gave up and went to be a wall flower. Eli could find me if he was able to dance. I sighed and made an effort to not look like I was not enjoying myself. In between the spinning couples I caught sight of his blue coat across the room. I was almost bolted through all the pairs and ran to him. I brought the foot that had reached out for him beneath my dress, and made my way around the dancers to Eli. I very nearly tripped over everything in my way in my great rush to reach him. I slowed attempt an act of a casual bumping into him. He turned his head when he heard the whispering around him. All eyes were focused on me and somehow I managed not to blush. I think I may have even heard a low, very rude, whistle.
“Eli,” I managed before my disguise of

causality disappeared. “How are you?” I asked, unable to ask him to dance.
The dance had just finished and I knew Taylor was going to be looking for me, and ask for another dance if Eli did not hurry up his act.
Eli must have caught sight of Taylor heading my direction because he wasted no time in securing my hand for the next dance.
“I’ll think you will discover that my ability to dance is quite tolerable. Would you join me in showing these men here how talented I really am? And also how talented you are?” HIs eyes twinkled.
Abashed I agreed frowning at Eli’s quirky smile as he took my arm and escorted me to the line of dancers.
I saw Taylor stop dead when he caught sight of Eli’s arm locked around mine. He looked petrified. I sent him a complimentary smile and he regained composure with a nod at Eli signaling a terrific partner choice..
“You are making Taylor jealous.” I commented as we began to dance.
“He’s already secured you for several dances I need to get my turn.” he replied, I could tell he was willing himself to add something else but he only concentrated on his steps.
“Do you really like him?” he asked suddenly looking worried.
“Of course not. Why would you think I
do?”
“Well, you are letting him follow you around like a wishing puppy. You are leading him on. He thinks he can have your heart.”
“I’m doing it to please my father. I can

not marry him Eli, you know how much that would kill me.” I gave him a pleading expression and saw that the same look was on his own face.
“I know how much it would kill me.” he said looking away.
I bit my lip. Eli was never that open with his feelings. I turned to my steps not looking Eli. The musicians played the last few notes and Eli turned and bowed to me. I curtsied back and he took my hand and kissed it.
“You look absolutely, stunningly, beautiful tonight, Trinity.” he whispered and turned away.
I turned away and hurried out side to where a few lovers were sitting. I collapsed on to a bench and began to breathe very hard. No one paid any attention to me. My eyes were very wide and I had to work very hard to keep the tears from streaming down my face. What had I done? Not only was I suffocating myself, I was killing Eli. I felt a warm body set down next to me. I looked over and saw Taylor’s green coat. He nervously wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Are you okay, love?” he asked. I knew he was referring to Eli. He wanted to
know if he had hurt me. “Did he hurt you?” he asked his hazel
eyes looking compassionate. I almost laughed at the speculation of Eli
hurting me. I had hurt him, but I couldn’t tell Taylor that.
“I’m fine, just a little dizzy.” I lied.
“Do you need to go home?” he asked concerned.
“No it was just for a little bit, I just needed

some fresh air.” I waved off the question. “Well, then are you well enough to
reward me with the next dance.” He was victorious at catching me here and being able to procure me.
I nodded and he stood and then helped me up. He escorted me back into the barn and we lined up to dance, beneath Eli’s cold stare.
I was never without a partner the rest of the night. Whenever anyone did not ask me I was always carried off by Taylor. I did not get to dance with Eli again and he never even made a move like he was going to ask. I tried to tell myself that it was because of his back, but I was a very poor at lying to myself. I could only blame one person for him staying away, myself.
I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the night. Taylor helped me into the carriage and I almost passed out on the way home. I kept my eyes open, not daring to blink and listened to Taylor talk about everyone and everything that had been there or had happened. I just nodded.
He halted his horse at my house, but he did not hop down to help me out. I was instantly reminded of how Eli would enjoy watching me attempt to clamor out of the carriage. I was brought out of the devastating thought by Taylor voice saying my name. I instinctually turned my head to face him. I was completely not expecting him to kiss me but he did. I could not pull away. I wanted to and I did not kiss him back but I let him kiss me. He pulled his head back but reached his hand up to my face. I flinched away and opened my mouth to scold him. but he began to talk first.
“Trinity, thank you for coming with me. I have enjoyed your company immensely.”

He turned away and hopped out of the carriage and appeared at my side and he swung me down out of the carriage. I thanked him weakly and walked in to my house. No one was waiting up for me, they were all in bed. I was glad to have the house to myself. I was so mixed up in my head about everything that had happened. Eli hated my guts and Taylor wanted them. I went to my room and peeled off my dress. The only time Eli had ever noticed the way i looked was the time I now wished he had not. I wished I could still just be the girl who’s hair he pulled at school. We had evolved into so much more. He still teased me, but it was different, Eli had never injured me nor I him as deeply as I felt now.
I remembered the days when I used to run home after school and cry because Eli had been mean. Was that routine about to begin all over again?
I climbed into bed and pulled the covers all the over my head. I refused to cry myself to sleep, but that did not mean that I could not cry in my sleep.
I tossed and turned for several hours getting only snatches of sleep. When I couldn’t force my eyes shut any longer I got up and lit my bedside candle. I curled up into my knees for a self hug before slipping out of bed and going to my book shelf. I needed something to read, something that would take my mind off of everything that had happened.
I found a collection poems by 16th century poets, and brought it back to the bed to read by candle light. I opened up to a random page and there staring at me from the paper was a poem I

needed by Samuel Daniel. Titled Love is a Sickness full of Woes.
Love is a sickness full of woes, All remedies refusing: A plant that with most cutting grows, Most barren with best using.
Why so? More we enjoy it, more it dies,
If not enjoy’d, it sighing cries, Hey ho.
Love is a torment of the mind, A tempest everlasting;
And Jove hath made it of a kind, Not well, nor full nor fasting.
Why so? More we enjoy it, more it dies
If not enjoyd, it sighing cries, Hey ho.
My tears splashed on to the page I dried them away quickly so the ink would not run. I was enjoying Eli’s love and now it was dying. I wondered why I had I not just run off with Eli already. I could do it, no one would miss me. We would just have to get on a ship that goes to Africa and then that would be it. I new it would never happen, especially not now. Not when I had to make sure Eli did not go after Taylor and rip his throat out.
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