April 13 -14, 1912
April 13, 1912
Father went to the smoking room, and, thanks to Anthony, the boys all went to see the stokers, Stella and Dorothy were knitting, and Mother was taking care of Constance and Thomas. There was nothing for me to do.
We had a breakfast of Swedish bread, marmalade, smoked herrings, and milk. Lunch was cheese and pickles, brawn, and tea.
I decided to go to Catharina’s cabin. I knocked on her door, and her father answered. He was a nice man. Catharina came out. We pretended that we were pretty ladies, and were rich. It was fun!
In the afternoon, I wrote a poem. It’s not very good. It’s called “Ocean”.
The ocean is full of mysterious creatures
All of them with wonderful features.
They swim and dart and play
With their friends all day.
Douglas said it wasn’t good, but Mother said it was wonderful. I was glad, because it took me forever to find words that rhymed!
Stella wrote a poem too, called An Outcast.
Ever lonely, longing for belonging.
I watch them run, hunt, and eat together…without me.
I watch them mourn, sing, and sleep together…without me.
I want to feel what love is like…
What belonging means…
What friendship is…
I want to love, laugh, and cry together with the others
Discovering what not being alone feels like
To find other outcasts same as me…searching
This place doesn’t wield what I need…
I walk through the woods searching for others whom I belong with.
The poem is beautiful. I wonder why Stella would write a poem like that. After all, she’s very pretty and popular, not an outcast. Of course she’s not! Right?
There are so many things I don’t know, but, after finding out about first, second, and third class, I’m not sure if I want to know them anymore.
April 14, 1912
I woke up late, so I had breakfast right away. I played dolls with Catharine, then we had lunch.
In the afternoon, Stella, all the boys, and I played hide-and-seek. We laughed and laughed. Douglas is a horrible finder. Soon, I got dirty again. I took another bath. It feels great not having limited water for baths! And I could get used to hot water!
Dinner was fantastic.
Stella and I told funny stories. Even Dorothy laughed.
I went to sleep with a smile on my face wishing this life would never end. Little did I know …