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Pure Half-Blood

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Author's note: Critique welcome!
Author's note: Critique welcome!  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next »

Pretty

Last year during spring break, I visited my Uncle Hades and my aunt, or cousin, Persephone. The entire Greek mythology family is entirely inbred, by the way. Also, they lived in the Land of the Dead – the Underworld.
Let me tell you, I had no idea what Hell was like until I entered a real high school cafeteria for the first time. Or as I like to call it, Land of the Walking Dead.
Before North Shore, I thought lunch was just for eating. Of course, I obviously expected everyone to talk
The dialogue is from Mean Girls. I was practicing using dialogue in my stories, I'm not that good at it quite yet. I try not to use 'said' too much. What do you think?
amongst their friends, but this is way more extreme than that. In fact, some of these girls weren’t even eating at all! Most of them were thinner than me, but I wasn’t self-conscious about that. I had more important worries than a pound or two.
Everyone was separated into distinct social groups. As I understand it, they are better known as ‘cliques’ – all of the jocks sat together, the artists sat together, and the band geeks sat together. Even the Asians sat together, divided into two additional groups: nerdy and cool.
I wondered what would happen if there was a ‘cool’ person, who earned good grades in addition to being gorgeous and popular. How does one determine where they fit in? On a more urgent note, how could I possibly expect to fit in any group at all within a school of less than a thousand other teens, especially if there wasn’t a soul like me in existence?
I wandered around aimlessly for a few minutes, lost in the hectic jungle of a room until I finally found a table.
"Sit down," a blonde girl with two friends at either side beckoned in my direction. I scanned the cafeteria, not sure she was speaking to me. "Seriously, sit down."
I sat, still not sure which clique this was. I quickly learned they were the ‘popular’ group. Was that a good thing?
"Why don't I know you?” she asked, a curious expression pasted onto her flawless face.
“My name is Peyton Olympus, I'm new. I used to go to boarding school in England." True enough.
"Wait, what?"
"I lived at the school in a-"
"No, I know what boarding school is, I'm not retarded. But you've seriously never been to a public school before?"
I shrugged.
"Shut up. Shut up, shut up."
"I didn't say anything."
"But you're, like, really pretty."
I never really thought about it, but I guess I am kind of pretty. I may not be quite as skinny and blonde as picture perfect Regina, but I have long, soft ebony hair cascading down my back and delicate facial features. My eyes are emeralds. Literally, but that’s another story for another day. Back to Regina...
"Thanks," I blushed, flattered.
She immediately countered, "So you agree?"
"What?"
"You think you're really pretty."
"Oh! No, that's not what I meant at all-"
"Oh my god, I love your necklace! Where did you get it?"
That was my Camp Half-Blood end of summer necklace!
"Camp," I replied simply.
True enough, right?
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next »


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This book has 4 comments. Post your own!

MissEmilyDickinsonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 2 at 2:23 pm:
This is amazing. You really do have such talent and greatness in you. Thank you so, so, so much for sharing this. :)
 
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StellaDPloom said...
Apr. 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm:
Possibly? You mean, absolutely to be continued, right? I love this. I need more.
 
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HarryPotterLover30 said...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 8:03 pm:
Or I guess... you could have her wake up froma coma or something, and anthony and the vampires and her high school never happened or have it be a dream that was put on by her mother with a potion and to show her she sperfect just the way she is. That way, I think it would be better, and less....slightly creepyno offense. Like i said before, it is a very well written story, but the twilight element just put me off........ :)
 
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HarryPotterLover30 said...
Mar. 27, 2012 at 9:39 pm:
It is really good, although, I've never been a fan of  Twilight. I really just don't like it. It started out really good, but once you got to the vampire part it all kind of went downhill. Take out the vampires, continue, and it'll be perfect. :) 
 
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