Chosen

April 7, 2011
By writerchik_123 BRONZE, miramar, Florida
writerchik_123 BRONZE, Miramar, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you can live forever what do you live for?


-Edward Cullen


Summary:

Riley: Fire
Juliet: Water
Alex: Earth
Elena: Air
These four girls were chosen to protect these four elements from the dark ones who wish to use them against the world. For now they lead what they believe to be normal lives, but soon they will be united together. These four were chosen.


Tiffany G.

Chosen


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This book has 2 comments.


Novelist said...
on Sep. 17 2011 at 2:35 pm
Hey, I really like this, but who is the "I" in chapter two? It keeps on swithcing and I just wasn't sure who was the "I".

on May. 24 2011 at 12:20 pm
Marina_V.S. BRONZE, Weybridge, Random Island, Other
2 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Ah, I'm one of those weird people who goes through their note books just to read the quotes, so finding a fav is hard for me... 'There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it' - Mary Little ;)

Hello, I've just finished the first chapter :) It's good, and I like the characters, but there are a few points were your writting needs work.

There are some parts where it's like you're typing too fast, or maybe because you keep changing the sentence, and the words are getting jumbled. Somtimes it gets confusing, and I have to reread the sentence to try and figure out what you meant to say. I think the first time is actually in the second sentence '...rocker looked was kind good...'. Maybe this problem is fixed in coming chapters, but I suggest you try reading over you're writting after you've finished, so you have a chance to correct.

The only other thing is: paragraphs. Because you don't start new paragraphs, it can become confusing as to what or who you're talking about (like the part when you were describing Elena and Alex), and I think it could be easily fixed by starting a new paragraph when the immediate topic changes.





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