Life Is But A Dream #1

December 21, 2014
By ItsKrisOkay13, Center Moriches, New York
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ItsKrisOkay13, Center Moriches, New York
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Favorite Quote:
"Me? Well, I'm well, well I mean I'm in hell. Well, I still have my health at least that what they tell me! If wellness is this, what in hell's name is sickness???" Amanda Palmer "Runs In the Family.


Author's note:

This is only chapter one, so tune in and get ready for the rest!!

 

This is actually my monsterkind OC (credit to Taylor C) but I am not actually sure whether or not Im gonna add in the monsterkind characters.


“C’mon Lilly, why are you taking so long!!! Im ready lets go sis!!!!!” The older nymp shouted at the younger sibling struggling to lace up her combat-like boots. Brooke walked towards her sister, a mug on her pale face. “Ugh! youre so slow!!”

The blushing small girl took a peek at the taller other, her face turned bright crimson. “O-oh. Okay, could you help me with these, uh, strings?” Brooke stared at her sister the pouted face turning into a sneer. “Wow. You really don't know how to tie shoes? Really?” Lilly looked down, her sisters harsh words really seemed to sting her emotions. She felt her face grow hot as her sarcastic older sibling laughing at your lack of knowing how to lace up boots.

Lilly’s bottom lip had begun to quiver, and she felt tears forming in her eyes as snot seemed to dribble from her nose. Her sister looked down at her, Lilly was unsure if she was mocking her or pitying her. Either way would be terrible, pity makes you feel like a idiot that put their self out there, looking for sympathy.

Brooke bent down to help her helpless sibling who dropped her arms discontinuing her struggle to tie her boots. The older other wrapped her arms around Lilly, trying to make her stop crying. She tied her boots for her as well. Lilly stopped crying, she collected all her strength to go out and say with a unintentional pathetic, whimpering voice “We gotta tell.. we gotta tell Aunt Cedar!”

Brooke was shocked she even spoke, but then smiled ending the conversation with a nod of her head. The two siblings ran up the stairs to the bathroom where Aunt Cedar is most. Brooke confidently knocked on the door grinning, the door pushed open. Sitting on the toilet, Aunt Cedar holding a spoon with a flame underneath. “Another science experiment, Auntie Cedar?” She said rocking back and forth on her heels. excited to run outside from the wooden house and explore the forest they lived in.

There was no response from the Aunt who had no idea the children were even in the house. She had lifted up the syringe right by her sitting on the sink. From there she used it to suck up the brown colored liquid she created with the powder, spoon, and flame. After collecting all the liquid from the spoon she shoved the needle into her forearm, pushing the contents into her vein. The two exchanged glances, and then stared back at their aunt, who was now shaking, and showing other symptoms of Heroin.

Of course the two children had absolutely no idea that their Aunt, otherwise known as their caretaker, was on drugs. “I don't mean to interrupt your, uh, experiment, but could… maybe, me and Lilly go on an adventure?” There was no response. “Well, I’ll t-take that as a yes...so, umm, bye Aunt Cedar!” 

The two nymphs scurried out the door, grabbing matches and a bag of supplies, that include knives for defense and killing prey, a blanket to share and sleep with, tights used to catch fish, lots and lots of rope, extra pair of clothing, bandages, and granola and other non-perishable foods. Brooke didn't know this, but Lilly smuggled her very favorite CD along with the player. The album consisted of 16 pretty twisted, disturbing songs, all of which involve either psychiatric issues or family problems. Singing about being depressed and slitting their wrists or ending their lives, or bipolar disorder with a bunch of different tunes mixed into a medley. The group consisted of one male and one female vocalist, along with others that play guitar or help with certain sound effects. For Lilly this description is highly intriguing, for her family, not so much. She accidentally sang one of the songs and her family, mostly her sister Brooke, got tremendously concerned.

Lilly stopped running, she was deep in thought, her sister had run ahead of her, unaware the younger other was wandering slowly behind. She watched her sister running, until she could see her no more. This worried her because she had no idea where to go but she was too focused about her ‘family’. Her eldest sibling, Bark, ran away at 17 years old, her parents, they were never home. The two sisters only met their mother once, she was a very nice caring lady. Lilly likes to eavesdrop on her Aunt Cedar and from doing so she learned some very disturbing things she won't share with her sister because she will be really sad. Brooke has a lot of faith in their parents. When Brooke was born, their father, Leo, was sent to State Park Asylum, she also heard that he was a very sickly man. Their mother lost custody of the two girls when she lost her husband, and fell into the ditch of depression. She was unaware she was doing this but she was neglecting her children. Not like having her drug addict sister was a wise choice to have as their caretaker. Sometimes Lilly wished Brooke knew all this but at the same time shes very glad she doesn't because if she did her train of thought would be similar to Lilly’s, and not like her usual adventurous self.

Lilly looked up quickly, realizing she really lost her sister. “Brooke?!” She shouted running ahead seeing no sign of her sister whatsoever. She kept running, quickening her pace feeling herself lose control of her breathing. The cold was finally nipping at her nose, turning her cheeks a crimson red again. The bottom lip began quivering again. She felt her mind and thoughts race, that liquid forming in her eyes bothering her vision. She stopped to try and catch her breath while wiping away tears. “BOO!” She heard a shout from behind her, she swung around seeing who tried and accomplished to scare her. The familiar face of her sister stood there long, green hair blowing in the wind.

“Brooke!!! Oh my gosh, you came back for me!!!!” You shout relieved you weren't abandoned in the woods forever. “Of course I came back for you silly Lilly!!!” she said snickering at her, picking her up in  a big hug, that warmed Lilly’s body from the fall wind chill. “C’mon we gotta find a place to sleep and stay for the rest of the week!” Brooke said making Lilly frown, she wasn't too enthusiastic about sleeping on the ground with only one blanket, but she wanted her sister to be happy, and who knows maybe she will have fun doing so!

“Hey,” Brooke’s face softened, “Maybe we might find Bark this time, no?”

This disturbed Lilly. She knew from reading in the paper that Bark was dead, he had starved to death when he neared the ends of the woods and left, only to find a city where there was no trees, animals to kill, natural resources, nothing. Lilly, sighed heavily, she wished she was Brooke, all innocent, adventurous and not filled of dark thoughts.

Brooke stretched her neck waiting for Lillys response, all she was doing was staring down to the side furrowing her brows. “Lilly?” She asked her soft smile disappearing, and her eyebrows furrowed in concern for her younger sister. “You… Okay?” She asked gingerly, there was no actual reply just a slow nod of the head. “Are you sure?”, Lilly decided she needed to be happy in order to attempt at making this at least some fun. With a brief sigh the smaller, long forest green haired girl looked up with a smile, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” She tried her very best to seem as happy as she can possibly be. She knew if her sister is concerned with something she tried to fix it, and Lilly did not want help.

The two swiftly made their way through the woods, taking hours to kill prey for food, collect nuts and berries, fish, and just find a spot to sleep and place a fire to cook their newly caught food. They created the fire, that they aren’t using just to keep warm, they are also using the flames to roast the rabbit and fish they caught in the hours spent earlier.

“I think its ready, here, help me Lill’, we gotta get the food off the fire for cooling” Brooke says an ambitious smile on her face, Lilly decides in her mind ‘I never want to see that smile go away. I'm never ever going to tell her about… it… Not even as my last words to her, never.’

Lilly took the other side of the stick used to hold the dinner in place so it doesn't fall into the glowing embers that were leaping and twirling, moving like some kind of fiery dance. Lilly’s gaze was drifting off from the food all the way to the rest of the tranquil woods teeming with wildlife. The sunshiny smile Brooke usually has disappeared, she cocked her head to the side, “What's the matter Sis?” she questioned the zoned out younger sibling. Lilly’s face shot up back to reality, “Huh? Oh yeah, of course. I was just drifting off, sorry.” The other furrowed her eyebrows in such a matter that she does when she is concerned, Lilly gave a brittle smile. Yes, it was cheesy, but she was praying that it’ll work on her curious sister.

“Hmmm… I don't know…” Brooke began to say but was interrupted by Lilly, “I think the foods ready!! Great, it is, oh boy I'm so hungry!!!” She picked up a part of the rabbit that wasn’t smoking anymore. It hurt her fingers a tiny bit because it wasn’t fully cooled off but it didn’t matter to her, as long as that terrible subject was pushed aside, everything was good.


The two ate fairly quickly, but savoring the delicious bites, as they were hungry and tired from all the work done earlier that day. “Mmm, this is really yummy!” Brooke shouted licking her lips moving on to the fish. When the two ate the fish, their mouths twisted and both of them spit it out instantly. They concluded fish, without some kind of baste or dressing, is quite repulsive compared to the scrumptious, exquisite, taste of that lean roasted rabbit.

“Well, I guess tomorrow we’ll just stick with rabbit and granola, right?” Brooke said with a petite smile, showing that she was disappointed for getting fish and not knowing it would be bad. Another words, she looked at this like it was completely her fault and her fault only. 

Lilly fakely smiled back, just glad Brooke isn't worried about her mental state and questioning her at that moment. The moon was out and the two girls decided they were exhausted, and were already ready to go to sleep. They had only one thin, worn out blanket to share. Lilly, laying down, waiting for her sister to go to sleep. For when her sister was finally asleep she would put on the large bulky headphones and let her favorite album of music play in her ears. Songs of malaise and melancholy, songs about psychiatric disorders, yes, this is what she liked.

Listening to the songs she sat up, looked at her wrist, then at the backpack that contained a knife.In her mind she picture just pure white being splattered with a crimson color, she smiled, then she thought about her family. The demented smile on her face turned into a disgusted frown. She clenched her fist very tightly, thinking of the meaning of her favorite song “Way to Get Rid of the Pain” which involved slitting your wrists and ending your life, and how the actual pain rids of the emotional agony and guilt.

She felt herself beginning to shake, not just from the feeling of dejection but also from anxiety, paranoia, insanity! She looked over at Brooke who was dead asleep, dead asleep. She said it in her mind ‘what if I could be that, dead asleep? But not for a few hours, no, forever!’

From there her thoughts began slipping away from her, becoming mad and irrational, thinking deeper and deeper about death and the thought of ending her own life being something that is splendid. Yes, indeed that’s what she believed, what she thought was right. A psychotic but muffled laugh emerged from her, she crawled over, almost silently, grabbing that knife which was used to kill and chop up the rabbit.

She smiles staring maniacally at the reflection in the knife’s mirror-like blade that seemed so very sharp, and in fact it was. It was sharp, keen enough to penetrate fleshy, tender skin, causing a rose-colored liquid to ooze from the wound created.

Lillys breathing very heavily, holding the knife in her hands as she places it horizontally on her wrist. “Am I ready for this?” Without thinking further more, she pushes it as hard as she could, then dragging it over the faded color blue vein. It hurt, but it also made the adrenaline rush, and brought great satisfaction. She was really shaking now, like how their aunt does when she snorts the sugar like powder, Lilly brought the sharp blade to her skin again in the same spot causing the cut created to be even deeper. From there she made tons more all over both arms most being very deep and or wide, some are only surface scratches that are crosshatched.

Yes, it was stinging, throbbing, bleeding, however it was also relieving, it seemed to be taking away all the pain and agonizing feelings that completely filled her mind. She cringed while taking out the headphones that were blaring dark music, realizing her sister would eventually see these cuts, ‘Oh shoot. Oh shoot. What do I do what do i do, oh god, theres blood everywhere…..’

“Sis…., what happened to your arm!!!!!” Brooke said slowly at first, the she shot up staring dumbfounded at her sister, who’s holding a knife, crying, and crimson colored blood pouring everywhere coming mostly from her blood covered wrists. Lillys throat and lungs seemed to be closing up on her, having her fail with breathing, causing her to panic and pant.

“What happened….Did you… do that to yourself?!” Brooke asked tears rolling down her cheeks as she fixated her eyes on her sister in horror. There was no response just a slow nod of the head as the two began bawling. “C’mere Lill, my little baby sister, I love you so much”

Lilly hates the guilt shes going through right now, she hates when her sister is like this. She hates it when someone, other than herself, is miserable, unhappy, crying, or even the slightest bit upset. Lilly decided to say something although it came out as hardly a sound, just a pathetic noise trying to say “I'm so sorry” but she knew her sister couldn’t make out the words.

“Lets just wrap it up o-okay. Then we’ll go to sleep okay, sis?” Brooke said taking in deep breaths and wiping away both snot and tears. “Oh, Lilly. Why did you do this, please do tell me!” She wiped away all the crimson liquid with a cloth used to clean cuts, accidental cuts. Once again, there was no reply, just more crying from Lilly, Brooke had already finished crying. She is trying her very best to stay strong for her dear little sister.

“We-we-we can't tell A-Auntie Cedar. No-no-no, we can't” Lilly struggled to choke out pathetically, “We have to!!” the older sister retorted back to her. “No! We can not! We must not, she’ll send me away!!!” 

“If thats what you need to get help, it must be done!”

“No! I’ll- I’ll kill myself before that happens!”

“Lilly! You did not just say that!!!!”

Lilly snarled, “Oh yes I did!”

“Thats it, I’m going to tell her, right now!” Lilly felt that angry knot grow in her throat. ‘How dare she go and tell Aunt Cedar, I think I just might tell her. No, I swore I wouldnt. I can’t believe she would just go and tell her! Ugh!!” Lilly sat down glowering at the metal triangular figure sitting of the forest floor. If it hadn’t been for the object Lilly wouldn’t be in this situation and life wouldn’t suck as bad. You see a figure running back towards you at full speed.

“Oh, great, here comes Brooke to tell me I'm going to an insane asylum just like Dad, maybe thats where I get from. Maybe I’ll even get to meet him, how wonderful.” Lilly says sarcasm in the last sentence, she didn't realize what she said until after the words poured from her mouth. She swallowed hard feeling guilty, “Sorry” she said aloud, unaware whom, precisely, she was speaking to.

Indeed it was Brooke, but she hadn’t gone back to the house at all, as a matter of fact she was hardly near it before she got lost and scared due to the dark. “H-hey, maybe, just this once, I'll let you get away with it okay. Just don't do it again, okay?” Brooke said panting, Lilly could tell she got scared just by the look on her face.

“Oh, trust me, I won't let you down, sis.” She responded disapprovingly looking down at her wrists. The only thing was, she may have just lied to her sister. The way she got out her emotions by cutting made her feel better about herself, not just that but while doing it she knew she had control, nobody else.

“Good, alright lets try again to get some sleep, okay?” Lilly nodded happily, she just couldn’t wait for this day to be over, perhaps she will have a good dream because she had such a horrible day.

It took her a very long time, especially because she could not stop concentrating not only on what she did, but the cuts still stung. There were many critters in the woods, but as of right now, they were considerate and quiet, creating a nice tranquil environment, perfect for sleeping, and fortunately for Lilly, it was great because after a while she did in fact fall asleep.



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