Shadow Lovely

February 16, 2012
By Elliott, Fostoria, Ohio
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Elliott, Fostoria, Ohio
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Favorite Quote:
To live upon the characterizing of the past is like the mold of a cancer, slowly killing you away.

Author's note: upon the day of her release from the society she is sent ot camp for prolonged training. Brilynne is unaware of the real purpose for this but soon relized after an attack threatins the camp and they all look to her to fix things.

They say that life is the fruit that will bare on; but I guess they never realized the things that could go wrong. Maybe they didn't study enough or maybe they just didn't care. So now what? Am i stuck like this? will I never get to see the after effects of my life?

They say that when you die you will see your life flash before your eyes. I guess they've never died. That would have been much better then what I was given. I've considered the option of my past pain and knowing that I will lose all of the people that I love, over the simple fact of brutal pain. It seems to me an easy choice. Then again I tend to forget that this world is not always the most fare or lodgic.

Some might say that the new life I have been given is a second chance to make things right. In some way I can't see it that way. I have never wanted to watch my family parish away. That's the thing about this second chance situation; your family takes the blame. They have to be "allimanated" so that there is no chance of them ever seeing you again. They fear to much to mix the two worlds.

There was once a girl. She was so very young, young enough to almost be extinguished herself. She begged and pleaded with the council to leave her family be. That she would never even be close to them. Her pour fradgile frame shook and her eyes poured tears. I have never seen the council be generous to anybody, but they assured her the best. I was appaled. It angered me to see that a little girl could win the life of her family but that mine had to die for me. Soon enough though the council came through. Her family died a week later. Sooner then any other before. I don't know what ever happened to the girl; she came up missing about three weeks later. The council had wanted to teach her a leason but they only turned her against them.

Some are to weak to handle this life. They won't last over a week before they are gone or dead. It is like a game. You must always please the council and never bend the rules. There are laws for reasons, they tell us. The "society" is more of a dictatorship then anything. It's always about the council and how you can please them.

Right about now you probably hate this life and place. It's really not all that bad. Once you are so old and have been through the many layers of games you are appreciated more. The council sees it as, " If they can make it through the harsh games that we put them through, then they can make it on their own."

To bad for me though. Females never get to stay in the society after a certain age unless your a healer or care taker. They have no use for you. You're just taking up space. You probably think that I'm crazy for wanting to stay after all the brutal pain and suffering of the council and the games. I have a token though. Zak.

Zak is a guard in the society. He watches the walls of the city. This is one of the most important jobs to have in the society. It means that the council believes that you have potentual. He was almost killed though, about two decades ago. When he stumbled upon me; more like I stumbled upon him.

It was a freak accident. He was standing watch on the north side. He was taken aback when I came stumbling, bloody and dragging limbs, out of the nearby woods. It was only his instinct that got both of us into trouble. He knew that I would have never caused a threat up against him; ecspecially in my condition at the time. He only thought of this though after he attacked. After his bite stopped burning he looked down into my wounded face and began to cry. I could not understand this mans strange lodgic. He would have let me die out in the woods but he could not now that he had infected me. He was under law to bring to the council any "strays".

He drug me into the large corridore of the meeting hall. He stood me up and whispered in my ear that I needed to at least appear strong. He begged me and pleaded with my silence the whole way to the judgment room. Right before we went in he looked upon me and said, " Please love, don't give them a reason to kill you or me. You are worth so much more then just your hyde."

The council was not easy to face. They judged both of us with extreme contence. Zak was up before council for changing someone. He of course is not a changer so there for it in most cases means certain death. To his and my luck the coucil found some kind of potental in me. They let me live in their world.

There is very strict rules on a persons place in the society. If you are assigned a position, you are forbidden to wait upon anothers place of business. For instance, a changer can not guard a gate or heal another being; they can only change a person. A guard is only to guard the welfare of the society and has no abligations to change a person or harm one unless in harsh pursuit to protect the city.

Zak and I are one of the very few couples in the society. The coucil frowns upon it for the exact reason of the seperation of male and females after a certain age. They do on occasion like to see the sweet love between the couples. They marval at the ways that we help eachother and how we never really fight.

Life in here is pretty simple. You just do what the council asks of you and don't ask questions. In time you will see that they can be quite understanding and soon they grow to care for you, although they would never admit it to your face. You would have to know the council to understand the way that they are. They tend to be very complex and not outspoken. They keep to themselves unless they are in the mood to punish or baster one of their creations.

The thought of leaving the city is quite heart wrenching for me. For the past twenty years this life is all that I have known. My simple human memories have long vaporized with my death. I know not what to do with myself in the modern world. I guess that is where things get complicated. I think in that moment of realization is when the plan began to form, or at least the outer lacing of it. It seemed my only option to survive. Little did I know that this so called brilliant plan has been vanished at the spot.

" Brielynn I don't think that you understand the consept here." the head council leader, Agather, says.

" What do you mean then? " I stammer.

My tongue feels of sand paper, dry and cracking. I'm not reallly sure how to quench this distastful tarness in my mouth. I lap at the back of my throut for a small bit of saliva just to hold me over. I can feel the break in my voice coming on as I find that my throut is of the same genera as my tongue. I swear I can taste the grain of the desert floor.

" You will not be sent out into the modern world my dear. You will be sent to a camp."

Agather rambles on about how nice the camp is. " There you will be trained."

I can not rap my mind around this whole situation. I have been training for the past couple decades and now they want more? Training for what? Why? None of this makes any sence and I can't even begin to grasp the consept. This was all supposed to end with a final age. I was to be sent back into the world that I had come from.

" Wait. I... I don't understand. Training for what? " I shy away from them.

They can sence me shutting down. It's fear that they taste in the air with their serpent ways. I do not know how many of my kind have been sent to this camp but I feel that not many make it. Just the realization of being wrong for so long and hopeing so long for something can drive you to the point of death. Suicide is the number one killer in our city. It doesn't take much provoction for it to happen.

" Do not fear child. You are in good hands. " Babalonia cues at me from her pulpet, " This is a good thing."

Her cheerful smile does little to no good on me. I do respect her though. She is the head chair of Medical. The most powerful healer that I have ever known.

" Yes child! " Gaither points in, " Think of this as a pramotion. You're stepping up above the others."

He has never been a favorite of mine. His greedy ways make me displeased with him. There is also something about his appearance that makes my spine shiver. He is completely dispreportioned with his large mass of lard that he calls a body and his skinny bird like nose. Some how his legs are like tooth picks, I always wonder how they hold his massive weight. The small patch of hair that grows on the frontal edge of his cranium is wirey and crimped in awkward angles. His peepers are the lightest blue I have ever seen, almost stark white against his pasty rashed face. The red pimply rash that covers his face and hands, probably his whole body but I've only ever seen his face and hands, oozes a yellowish clear fluid sometimes. He is constantly itching is infected flesh. I nearly hurl up my lunch as he proceeds to do so.

" Why? How am I different from any other person here? Why am I being put upon a pedistule? " I feel and hear the anger building in my once salumn voice.

" Because you have great potential." Giles booms as he enters the judgment room. " Your potentail far excedes our own scales and expectations. "

His feeble old finger tips my chin up. His sagging face and honey brown eyes remind me of a lazy old blood hound. His face was once a pale marble white but has become more tan as the age spots take over. His bushy white eyebrows draw down and he studies my face with great concentration. I believe that he is searching for a break with in my iron shell. As he always does upon our visits. Giles is my favorite above all of the council. He is the heart and soul of them and the place I call home. The kindest and gentlest person I know.

" I know that you wish to not leave this place. " he whispers in my flow of copper hair, " But what you need to understand poppet is that you are the soul purpose of the training that you are to recieve. There is none like you, never before or at present except yourself. "

I take in his soft words and again I am confused. " But if there is none like me then why create something to train me? I do not understand Giles." I whisper upon his curly white beard.

To the other members of the council it appears to them as if we are hugging. Saying our last goodbyes as I have accepted my so called destiny. As if they could ever know the intence complexity of our friendship to eachother. They are all cold while Giles is the sun that brings this city to life.

He pulls back and looks deep into my forest green eyes. He has always said that my eyes remind him of his childhood. He says they make him feel young again. As if he can leap from tree limb to tree limb like in his younger years. Take deep swims in the rivers and run through miles of meadows and fields.

" It's time for you to go now. " he says with a grim smile.

I know that he is only pretending for the other council members. He fears for me. I can see it in his sallow face although he tries to hide it.

" Oh Giles. " I softly whimper.

He gives me one final hug and whispers in my ear, " Be strong poppet. "

" I will Giles. Now don't go dieing on me." I reply while fighting back tears.

" Just remember; it's okay to cry sometimes. "

He kisses my cheek with his thin rustic lips. Then he gently nudges me toward a door in the back of the room.

The door opens a hair and the council encourage me to enter. I step cautiously over the threshold and peer over my shoulder at Giles. He looks at the floor with the look of death pasted on his face. When he glances up he knows that he has been caught. He gives me a big smile and says, " See you around poppet! Oh and good luck! "

I fake a smile back and say, " Don't you die on me while I'm gone. You hear me? "

He nods and I turn and face the large oak door again. I guess my destiny lies beyond this door. I'm about to begin the next chapter of my so called "life". A life without Giles and his sweet humor. A life without my friends at the mill and laundry house. Man I'll miss them and their hospitallity. A life outside the city that I have come to know as home. Most tradgically though, a life without Zak. I'll never have his tender kisses to wake me from my sleep, or to smell the fantastic aroma of breakfast in the skillet, or the soft melodies that he hums me to sleep with. The harsh realization hits me that a life without Zak is no life at all. But what choice do I have?

On the opposite side of the door is another room. A long corridor that leads out to the eastern gate. The walls follow along the spine of the ceiling until about half way down the hall, it then turns into a bridge that arches over the city. I step onto the coble stone floor and shut the door with my back. I crumble into a heep at the door jam. I don't even care about my posture as I take in the artic air.
A part of me thinks that it's best that I don't see Zak before my departure. My heart sinks as I think of him. I wonder if he even knows that I'm leaving and how he feels at the thought.

" Hey beautiful. " says a rugh deep voice.

I look up eagerly and find the face that I long to see the most. A smirk cracks across his square jaw and he stretches out his hand to me. I stare at his out stretched hand a moment and then look into his deep brown eyes. I grip his wrist and pull myself up to my feet, smiling. He looks into my face and hugs me hard. His brawn strength caging me to him.

" Are you allowed to be here? " I ask still clinging to his chest.

" Yes. They let me come to say goodbye. " he looks at the ground.

I look at him and scan the colorful pebble walk. I touch his shoulder and he looks into my eyes.

We walk down the corridore in seperate paths. We don't even hold hands or touch. We walk in silence for a long while. Only occasionally glancing in eachothers direction.

" So... " he says scuffing the heels of his boots on the walk.

I stop in one of the windows of the bridge. I look out over the silent city as people quietly set for dinner or gather themselves for bed. The horizon begins to turn a dark shade of crimson as the sun sets over the peeks of the far off chain of mountains. A sworm of Ravens swoop down around the snow caps.

" So now what? " I ask staring out over the vast scene.

" What do you mean? " he asks on the other side of the hall.

" I mean I'm going away. Maybe forever. "

" Well what do you want me to do? Wait for you? " he sounds almost irritated.

I turn upon him and look at his mangled expression.

" Brielynn. " he looks at the ground and paces away from me.

" Please don't do this Zak. " I say as I feel myself being torn apart.

" I'm sorry Brie. Really I am. "

He turns away and pulls at his hair. A common habit when he is stressed or confused. I hear him huph and he places his palms on the bridge wall. He can't even look at me.

I had always thought that the moment when we would have to part ways would be a common ground of a peace treaty. This though is the complete opposite of what I had expected.

" Brie, you know that I will always love you. You are the angel that fell into my life. " he says and turns toward me.

I look at his face and tears well up in my eyes. His fingers trace my chin and he places a stray piece of my hair back into place. He smirks and I frown at him with confusion. What is funny about this?

" You are so beautiful. " he says

I smile and raise up on to my tip toes. My lips gently cross his. Sparks rise through my body willing me to stay in his arms forever. Zak is my whole world and the love of my life and these thoughts cloud my mind. He deepens the kiss, craddling my head with his fingers tangling my long locks. A loud horn breaks us apart and bounces us back to the current situation.

We start down the bridge once more hand in hand this time. It feels like it did when we first caught site of our love for eachother. About a foot from the end of the bridge he stops and takes his hand from mine. I know now that this is the end of the road for him. His journey stops here with me. I turn and look at him with the look of a lost dog. He gives me a quick smile to reassure that his words are all truth. I blow him a kiss and he catches it in his hand. He places his palm to his heart after kissing his fist.

A couple guards grasp my arms gently and escort me to the waiting vehicle. I settle myself into the cozy backseat. the soft plush fabric sparks memories of my past. I look out the window in eager search to find his hungry eyes. The deep brown meets me with a fever of love and lust. The sorrow wafts off his pores and even through the glass I can feel the deep depression that is melting over his swollen heart. He raises his fingers in a final goodbye. I will myself to return the favor but I can't summon upon the movement of any part of my body. I'm lucky to even be able to blink.

The car begins to pull away from the drive. I look straight ahead because I can't stand to watch the love of my life drift away from me. I will probably never see him again.

" Miss? "

I look up from my now delapidated finger nails. A bad habit of mine, biting my nails.

" Are you okay? " the driver ask through the rearview mirror.

His concern strikes me odd with the common actions of the upper class people. I smile inside for a moment, " Yeah. I'm fine."

He looks away and adjusts the mirror. I see my refection in the glass. Just this morning I had looked full of life and quite viberant. It's crazy how just a few hours can change someone's appearance. My eyes are framed with bruised shadows and my lovely olive tone is a pale chalky white. Zak would still say that I'm beautiful even in my hollow state.

It's always amazed me how Zak and I came to be together. The memories of our conversation after the councils judgment. He had shown up in the hospital ward about four hours after the whole incedent. I kind of hated him for saving me.

" Hey." he said at the end of my cott.

All I could do was stare at him with disbelief. It was almost disgust.

" Um well, thanks for helping me out back there." he says with a bit of a chuckle inside of his words.

" Sure."

There was really no way that I could be honestly happy that I had saven his hyde. The only real reason that I did it was to save myself from more pain. I guess I felt that I had experianced enough for one day.

He got up and turned to leave the room. Something stopped him though. He pulled at the back of his dark hair, cropped and wild. He looked at me in a very strange way still pulling at his roots. It looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn't form the words. He took a double take on me before he strolled quickly out of the ward. I could see from my window; he paced the enterance for a few moments and then jotted off.

It was about a week before I ran into him again. The feeling of hatered just as strong as ever. I was at the market picking out fruits for a jam that I was making for the winter ahead. Spring fever was dancing on the air. I picked up a large ripe apple, the dew slid over my fingers. The fruit slid from my grasp, plumitting to the floor. A hand caught it just before it hit the cement. I took the apple from the out stretched hand. Looking up I see his sweet smile. All I could think of to do was glare at him.

" I would understand if you hate me." he says examining the different types of fruits.

I wanted so badly to hate him. I dug deep into myself to find that hatered for him that I had felt not long ago but I could find none. Every part of my innerself wanted me to dislike this man but I couldn't help but feel drawn to him. I huph loudly and place down the apple, " I don't hate you. I want too, but I just can't."

" Walk with me?" he smiles largely.

He took me to a paradise. It was absolutly beautiful. A white marble bench sat in the midst of tall willow trees. A scatter of cherry blossoms blooming sat the mood of sweet indulgence. Wide rays of flowers and color surround the sucludded heaven.

He took my hand in his. I resisted at first but took in his warmth. He began to swirl me around and dance with me.

" There's no music." I say with a slight giggle.

" Well that can always change." he says in my curls, " I love the smell of you."

I looked up awkwardly at him. A thousand different birds began to sing a tune together. It was the most beautiful song that I have ever heard, well up until Zak began to sing along. The light tone of his tenor voice pitched with the saprano of the birds makes a sweet lullaby.

We spent the remainder of the day talking and laughing. He made my heart melt to him. After that day we were the best of friends. So inlove too but we wouldn't admit it.

The sweet smell of the rain brings up the ghost aroma of the juniper lilies of the secret paradise. I sqeeze my dufle bag harshly due to the pain that corses through my chest. I hate to have time to myself. When I do have time then all that I think about is the wonderful past that is now all pain. I feel my mind slipping into a coma.

It was about eight hours later when I am shacken awake. My eyes strain to see through the light of the brilliant sunrise. The big beefy figure of the driver hovers over me. I blink a couple times and question why he's waking me. He comments that I have arrived at my new destination. My mind swirls and dips as my stomach transcripts the action. I don't think that I'm ready for this yet. The eight hours only seemed like three, if that.

My feet carry me out of the oldsmobile. The driver sets down my bag from the trunk and hurridly gets back in and speeds off. I cough from the exost smoke. My eyes scan the large prison like building. The windows have bars. The huge steel door creaks open with a loud belch. A very tall spidery man strolls out of the building. He wears a black suit with silver pin stripes down the length of it. His large shiny black dress shoes make no sound as he drifts to face me.

" Hello." he says with the biggest cheshier cat grin I've ever seen. His teeth white walls.

His face is a pale blue and his skin seems quite tight. Almost revealing every bone in his face. His eyes glow a terrifying yellow orange against blood shot whites. His black eyebrow arches toward my silence.

I grimace at him, " Hi."

" Well then, let me get a look at you dear." he says grasping my face with his extremely long boney fingers. For being so thin they have quite the strength.

While he masks my face into his memory I glance up at his top hat. It is very tall and has an awkward crimp in it.

" Perfect!" he exclaims loudly, " Come with me."

He begins to walk away summening me, with a boney finger, to follow. So I run to catch up to him.

The ceiling never seems to end. I look around me and see broken souls. The people that I see are not exactly mentally there. They all stare off in different directions. Not looking at really anything. The whole atmosphere is gloomy and grey. Fear retches through my heart. Was this all a joke or just a big mistake? It has to be a mistake. They wouldn't send me here. I'm getting pramoted I tell myself over and over again until I believe it myself.

The next room is filled with a stage and many different people acting out plays with out words. They are miming the scenes. The smooth sound of melody rings out of the silence. I stop and stare at the stage, watching the people dance with the elegance of gazelles. My ears burst when the voice of a girl singing to the music rips through me. My eyes search the stage vigorously to find the face of the vocalist. Then she steps out into the middle of the crowd, they part like the Red Sea. Her voice rings like the bells of a memory. My heart melts from her song. The spotlight catches her face and her beauty is just as congruent as her voice. I'm glued to her.

" Intreged?" chesier man asks.

I'm finally torn from her by his out burst. I turn ready to proceed as he is already.

We enter a hall full of doors. " This is where we sleep." he says gesturing down the hall, " You are the last on the left. You are to be on the north wing in fifteen minutes."

He turns and strolls off as if on a sunday walk. He stops ubruptly. " I wouldn't be late when meeting Sharllet, especially on the first day." he says and then continues on with a whistle.

I scurry down to the last door on the left. I turn the knob and the door won't open. I throw myself onto it and it slams open. The room is dusty and damp. The slime green walls remind me of a hospital in the modern world. The only contense is a small dresser for my clothes and a small cott. I pause and take in the scene. I miss my life I murmur. My bags land on my "bed" with a cloud of dust. After a few coughs I sprint toward the front hall. The big metal door faces me and I skim the room, forgetting where I had seen the front desk.

" Can I help you miss?" a sweet femenin voice says.

I turn quick on my heals and my eyes nearly bulg out of their sockets. An anerexic thin woman with bleach white hair stares at me. Her eyes are the size of baseballs with eyelashes that reach her shaped eyebrows. Her skin is a pale purple with large scars from the outer corner of her eyes to her hair line. Her nose is thin and pointed, pixie like. Her lips are huge and puffed with colligen, another scar stretches from each corner of her mouth to her ears. She stands and I see her waste is the size of a five year old and her breasts the size of watermelons. Scars cover her arms and body. The only thing that I can think is Barbie.

She repeats her question and I stumble over my words as I try to ask her where the north wing is. She smiles and assures me that I'm not far. " Follow me honey." she cues and motions for me to follow her.

I remember now that when I walked into the hall there was to different hallways. I must have went down the south one because Barbie girl took me down the opposite one from earlier.

The only thing that I see is long halls of windows or mirrors. We soon come upon a humongous white door. What is it with these doors? It seems that behind ever door my life changes more and more. I'm loosing myself!

" Right through this door honey." she says and heads back down the way that we just came.

I look at the door and brace myself. Well I think that if I could I would probably stand here for an hour just to take in all that has happened so far. It has all happened so fast. It seems though that time is not on my side anymore. I take a deep breath and grasp the knob. My hand slips right through it. I look down confused and try to grasp it again but it filters right through my flesh. I just can't get a break! This is all to strange! I place my palm to the door and It seeps through into the white mist. I pull my hand back hesitant and then I step through the mist. The world is the complete shade of abstract.

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