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Twins in the Tower

Chapters:   1 2 3 Next »


Once upon a time, there was a handsome king and a beautiful queen. They ruled with wisdom and kindness, and their kingdom prospered, but of all the things that the king and queen lacked that they could have, they wanted nothing. Nothing except an heir to the kingdom.

The king and queen tried to have children for many, many years, but with no success. Eventually it came to the point where many believed that the queen could not have children, even the queen herself, but finally Her Majesty
No, this was not inspired by Tangled, although Tangled reminded me to dig it up, polish it off, and post it.
became pregnant.

Late in the pregnancy, though, the queen became very weak. Her illness proved not to be life threatening, though; in fact, when it came time for the child to be born, two beautiful twin girls were born without complication, and the king and queen had two heirs instead of none. However shortly after the twins, named Charlotte and Rapunzel, were born, they proved to be very sickly, and their health just became worse and worse.

Healers were called from all across the kingdom, and many different herbs and remedies were tried, all to no avail. Finally, a sorceress stepped forward and offered her services. The king and queen were reluctant to trust the cunning sorceress, but they were also desperate to save the daughters who they already loved very much. They accepted the sorceress’s help, offering her the same fee that they had offered the healers before her, but she declined, saying that she would name her price only after the twins were healed.

The sorceress gathered many common herbs into two identical stews, and then used her sorcery to enchant one stew with the power of the moon, and the other with the power of the sun. Over the course of a week, the older of the two twins was fed the stew with the power of the moon, and the younger twin was fed the stew with the power of the sun.

All throughout the week, the twins grew stronger and healthier, but that was not the only change. By the time the stews were finished, Charlotte’s beautiful black hair had changed to a stunning silver as pale as the moon, and her green eyes changed to a deep, dark blue with flecks of silver just like the night sky. Rapunzel’s hair changed from black to a gold as bright as the sun, her green eyes growing flecks of yellow and pale tan so that her bright green eyes shone like polished gold when she smiled.

Overjoyed, the king and queen asked the sorceress what her fee was, declaring that they would pay any price. The sorceress merely smiled, stating that they would find out what her price was soon enough. True to her word, that very night the sorceress stole into the princesses’ bedchamber, grabbed the twins, and was gone, and the king and queen learned just how exorbitant her fee was.

The sorceress brought the princesses to the power-hungry ruler of a neighboring kingdom and offered them to him for a very high price. She told him of how each child had strong power, and due to the strength of the sun and moon, the twins could be used as all-powerful weapons. She told him that if she were just given eighteen years to train them, then she would sell them to him as a set of weapons that no army could set themselves against.

The king accepted her offer, having a tower built deep within the forest, not far from the kingdom where the twins had been born. In fact, from the tower to the border was only a five-minute walk. The sorceress moved the children into the tower, living with them until they turned ten, at which point the sorceress began to live in town again, visiting Charlotte and Rapunzel daily. She would bring them food and supplies and then spend a few hours training them before going back to town.

And as for the king and queen, they never lost hope that their daughters would return, but sixteen long years passed, and there was no sign of the twins.


Well, I suppose I ought to tell you. My name’s Charlotte. I’m sure you know of at least one other person with that name; it’s not an uncommon one. I’m sure that when you hear the name Charlotte I’m not the first thing that pops into your head. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t cross your mind at all.

Now, the reason this bugs me isn’t because I want lots of attention, or because I want to be famous. The only reason this bugs me is because I’m positive that if I were to mention my sister’s name, she would be the first and only person you could think of with that name. Because who doesn’t love perfect little Rapunzel? But I guess I’ll admit (reluctantly) that that includes me, too. She just gets on my nerves a lot.

This is our story, the real story.
Chapters:   1 2 3 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 25 comments. Post your own now!

CurlyGirl17 said...
Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:40 pm
I love this whole idea! Charlotte's really cool, and you do a good job of describing her character, something I find tricky sometimes. I'd really appreciate a comment or advice from you on the first chapter of my story, Metalligirl- you definitely seem to know what you're doing! :)
purpleroar23 said...
Sept. 5, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Great book! I love the angle you took, and awesome idea for a book. And if I were a movie-making person, I would totally make this a movie. :)
starbuxcoffee said...
Sept. 4, 2011 at 11:04 pm
This is really awesome, and super creative!! I can totally see this being a movie! I really love Charrlotte and Vincent. Please keep writing! :)
Steph0804 said...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 10:07 am

In my opinion, we should stop publishing "Rapunzel" and start printing "Twins in the Tower" :)

Then, everyone will know the truth ;)

Pedophobic said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Why can't i add this to my favorites?


TheGoodTwin said...
May 9, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Well this chapter is good, it doesn't have the heart-pounding action the last one has, but it's a little breather. It's good. Keep it coming......
Mary_S. replied...
May 11, 2011 at 7:21 pm
hanks! Well, all they have to do is get some help and then they'll be all set to break Andrew and Tobias out of jail, and that's bound to be pretty action-packed, so... Once again, thanks for the comment, I'm doing my best to update soon!
MadWriter said...
May 3, 2011 at 8:46 pm

I LOVE IT!  wow ! I never thought to add a twin to the repunzel story . So Creative Please write more Quickly but take your time make it as awesome as the other chaps


Mary_S. replied...
May 3, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Thanks, I'm working on it right now, I swear!
flyingpinkgiraffes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 9:13 pm
oh wow i love this!!! im a serious fairy tale person so this is PERFECT for me.  hurry up and put the rest up!!!!!! write quickly!
Mary_S. replied...
May 1, 2011 at 11:59 am
K, I'll do my best!
Mara03851 said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 10:39 am

"I'm waiting, I'm waiting!"

"For what? And who are you, Spongebob?"

"Actually my name is Mara03851 and I am waiting for Mary_S. to put another chapter of her book out." "OMG, I love that book!" High Five!

So basically I'm trying to say, wonderful story, hopefully once you get this published and it's turned into a movie (no if's there!) then tangled will be old news :) I am also trying to say- Get out more chapters!

Mary_S. replied...
May 1, 2011 at 11:57 am
Thank you so much :) I'm glad to hear you like it! I'm doing my best to get them out quickly, but this is one of the harder stories I've worked on.
TheGoodTwin said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Great Story! 

The beginning sounds like something the brother's Grimm would write. The intro, where it switches to Charlotte is good.

The description is great, and the witty banter is funny. I like Vincent, he seems like the typical, (tortured), charismatic character that often appears in the best teen literature. 

I only have one comment: How does the mother know it's Charlotte? Is it because her silver hair is so distinctive? Or is it because the resemblance i... (more »)

Mary_S. replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Thanks! You're asking the right questions; you're exactly the kind of reader I love having. Her mom recognizes her because of the distinctive silver hair, but when I was telling my mom and several other mothers (aunts, older cousins, etc) they all said that even without the hair, it's not that hard to believe in a Mother's instinct. I don't know if I agree with that, though.

I can assure you, that was something I always planned on clarifying, just later in the story. Also, the plot is ... (more »)

Mary_S. replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 11:33 pm
Hm, I'm having trouble finding your stories. Could you maybe leave me the links?
TheGoodTwin replied...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 8:20 pm

I tried, but for some reason i just can't seem to get it posted. If you can't find them, then that's ok. They're just in the novel sections, 

Away from Tragedy(realistic fic)

Among the Stars(romance fic)

Hands Stained Red(ACtion-adventure)

IN THE LIFE: A collection of Poems(other novels)

MysteryHeart said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I love this ... if holy wood was smart they would take this idea and turn it into a movie.. cast.. cartoon... TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
Mary_S. replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Thanks so much! My biggest hope would be that this could be a movie, I'm just worried no one would do it due to the recent movie Tangled. I'm very grateful for your comment, and I hope you'll keep following my story! I plan on updating as soon as possible, it's just that I'm making my chapters longer in this story than I ever used to, so it'll take a bit longer than I'm used to to get this out. Please be patient!
Saphirra said...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 3:40 pm
I really like the new twist in a classic story. Great Job! I hope you add more! :)

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