Butterfly

January 18, 2011
By Rozaa SILVER, San marcos, California
Rozaa SILVER, San Marcos, California
5 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love it when my fingers are entwined in yours, and the tingly sensation i got when you touched me. It made me feel so safe so loved; so totally bouned to you. forver. And i still am even though you left me.


Summary:

14 yeaar old rose is going through a strang change. All rose wanted was to be a normal girl but seems like destiny has a diffrent plan for her.
rose strugles to keep her old loved ones safe when a darkmagic comes seeking to destroy her.


Rozaa

Butterfly


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This book has 6 comments.


on Aug. 12 2011 at 8:20 pm
emilybwrites SILVER, Villa Hills, Kentucky
5 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
last night i lay in bed, looking up at the stars and i thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

fantastic job, keep up the good work! please please check out my free-verse poem "Forgotten Domain" and please comment i hope you like it!

Rozaa SILVER said...
on Jan. 30 2011 at 6:18 pm
Rozaa SILVER, San Marcos, California
5 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love it when my fingers are entwined in yours, and the tingly sensation i got when you touched me. It made me feel so safe so loved; so totally bouned to you. forver. And i still am even though you left me.

Thak you! I will do that in the next chapter i write, and i will look at your novels and what not to :)

Rozaa SILVER said...
on Jan. 30 2011 at 6:14 pm
Rozaa SILVER, San Marcos, California
5 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love it when my fingers are entwined in yours, and the tingly sensation i got when you touched me. It made me feel so safe so loved; so totally bouned to you. forver. And i still am even though you left me.

Thak you! i will do that in the next chapter i write, and i will look at your novels and what not to :)

on Jan. 29 2011 at 9:28 pm
rainbowwaffles BRONZE, Stony Brook, New York
2 articles 0 photos 89 comments

I agree, it's very good, but there is a lot of dialogue. Lots of dialogue isn't necessarily bad, you just need to show some emotions from the characters as well. Also, with the dialogue, you should punctuate it correctly. "Hi," he said. There should be a comma before the closing quote, and then the "he" "she" "they" "we" "his" or "her" should be lower case after the quotation mark (as shown here). Unless it's a name, of course. Just a bit of constructive criticism :)

Maybe you could check out my novel? It's called The Formation in the Realistic Fiction section. Thanks!


on Jan. 29 2011 at 11:39 am
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
62 articles 0 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk'?, and I say 'No that's trendy'!"- Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day

I like it, but it feels very dialogue heavy. I want to know what the characters are feeling and doing, not just what they're saying!

 

Please check out my novel SuperNOVA and leave your thoughts on it, it's in the novel section.


Rozaa SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2011 at 5:45 pm
Rozaa SILVER, San Marcos, California
5 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love it when my fingers are entwined in yours, and the tingly sensation i got when you touched me. It made me feel so safe so loved; so totally bouned to you. forver. And i still am even though you left me.

Please coment on my book if you read it and tell me your opinion on it. Thanks :)


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