TeenInk How would you rearrange this old cliche? "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" http://t.co/xTNZxcKYxK
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TeenInk "Thinking is the best way to travel." - The Moody Blues http://t.co/5jzE5kVJyB
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TeenInk If this is the ending of the story, what is the beginning? http://t.co/gRzPosYXRi
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I like it, but it feels very dialogue heavy. I want to know what the characters are feeling and doing, not just what they're saying!
Please check out my novel SuperNOVA and leave your thoughts on it, it's in the novel section.
I agree, it's very good, but there is a lot of dialogue. Lots of dialogue isn't necessarily bad, you just need to show some emotions from the characters as well. Also, with the dialogue, you should punctuate it correctly. "Hi," he said. There should be a comma before the closing quote, and then the "he" "she" "they" "we" "his" or "her" should be lower case after the quotation mark (as shown here). Unless it's a name, of course. Just a bit of constructive criticism :)
Maybe you could ch... (more »)