Teen Ink

Why Me?

I didn't know what I was thinking. It was an impulse. I wanted to just run away, but I couldn't. I was just another teenage girl so infatuated by a guy's hottness that I did whatever he wanted
Of course, I might be Lilah. I mean, I look like her. I talk like her. We could even be related. It's possible, right? So why did I feel so unsure? It isn't likely for me to be unsure of myself. I was a confident person. I always had everything in order and planned out. Apparently, this time I didn't.
I stopped my babbling to myself when Xavier stopped walking. We were in the middle of the woods, and I was freezing. Of all the pleasant places, he had to pick the center of the woods? I already had a headache and now he wanted me to freeze. How nice of him.
"This is it," he said.
"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was a little distracted. Maybe it was the cold wind."
He gave me a sudden look of disagreement. I didn't give him a look back but he knew I was thinking about it.
"This is where I lived before I died. My home was on this very plot of land. I remember everything. Father telling me to finish my chores. Mother yelling at my sister and I for playing pranks on Mr. Lawson. I enjoyed it very much."
"I can tell. I'm still sorry about what happened. You didn't deserve such a thing," I said quietly, looping my arm through his, "but it's fate. We can't decide when to die. It just happens. Do you think I wanted to die while lying in the snow and bleeding? No, but it happened. If it didn't, I wouldn't have met you. That would have been tragic."
He moved his hand down and intertwined his fingers with mine. He smiled at me and something started to feel right but wrong at the same time. Should I kiss him now? Maybe it would be weird but he is so gorgeous, I thought.
I looked at him in his bright green eyes. I felt the pull towards him. I wanted to kiss him. I really did. It was the right moment. Maybe a kiss would warm me up.
I tilted my head up and he instantly responded. He leaned down to kiss me. His hand moved to the small of my back and the force made me lean in more. I wrapped one arm around his neck and...
Beep! Beep!
I pulled away a little to attempt to reach into my pocket.
"No. Ignore it," he whispered.
His lips gently brushed mine. It felt really nice, but I had to get my phone. Maybe it was Taylor. I know she would want to talk and I wanted to talk to her.
Beep! Beep!
"It's only a phone. The message can wait."
"I have to read it. It might be important," I said.
He backed away and let me pull out my phone just as another message came through.

sadie answer plz. im srry.

r u there?

i should have believed u. forgive me?

Only Greg. How pathetic, but he did sound sorry. He was my first love and I didn't want to let him go just yet, but then there's Xavier. He cares about me. He loves me, I think.
I flipped open my phone and started texting back.

I forgive you. You were being a jerk.

i know. meet me at my house?

Time?

6?

I'll be there.

k. love u.

Love you too.

How was I supposed to go there without Xavier? I never thought of that. The bigger problem was now I have two boyfriends.
"I have to go," I blurted out.
"To where?"
"Greg's. He wants to talk. Just for a little while. I'm still a little angry, but I don't like holding gudges. I need to settle this.'
"You can't go. He was angry with you. How do you know he won't be angry when you get there?" he said.
He had a good point. What if Greg was just messing with my mind? I can't tell if he's angry over a text. He could be saying all of that just to get me over his house so he can tell me I'm crazy some more. It was a set up, but I was still going over there. I'll give him a piece of my mind. He won't know what to say.
"I have to go to his house. I'm going to tell him off," I said with surprising confidence.
"Well, if that's your reason, let's head over there."