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Bete' Noire

Author's note: I've always wanted to write about magic of some sort, but seeing as how I really do not like...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: I've always wanted to write about magic of some sort, but seeing as how I really do not like cliches,I thought it impossible. While it does still seem somewhat mainstream, I thought that the idea of a distorted mind manipulated by dark magic was unique and of course original. The name Bete' Noire ultimately means Human Detestment. Gene hates humans for their impurity and lust for blood but is oblivious so the truth. I hope you all enjoy!  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 Next »

Purity and Taint

"The brisk kissing of the rain…it is much more inviting and warm then I last remember it…" Thunder grumbled above in the deluded sky, the wind howled against his sweating face. The charring odor of ash and flesh decay began to die out with the aspiring rainfall that soon took place. The flames faded as the thickening mist rummaged about the sinful soil. The precious rainfall splashed upon his dark skin, dripping from the tip of his nose, between his grey, pupil less eyes. The drops raced
This Chapter is short, I know, but I thought it was a good representation of introduce the story in a nutshell so that readers can know what to expect the trials and tribulations to be. I know I wrote it, but I was trying to view it from a reader's perspective. I felt it enticing and dark, with a sense of pain and confusion in the main character. His bipolar personality comes with using the Chaos magic, yet another twist that does not show his true colors.
down his dark blue, tight fitted leather jacket. The Arcanum upon the center of his jacket appeared to gleam with the flash of lighting. With an outreach of the palm of his gloved hand, he appeared to try and catch the rainfall within his fingers. "If only…life…were as innocent and passive as the rainfall. If only…it could rain the pure water of our mother earth, instead of the tainted liquid of human life!" His glove squished as he impulsively clasped his hand, revealing his distaste for human life. He raised his head to the sky, allowing the raindrops to splash upon his forehead, running down the sides of his face. The lightning crackled, the flash periodically revealing the discomfort upon his face. His moment's grace was intervened by the distant sound of fast pacing footsteps. Fast approaching they were, the faint smell of smoke from lit torches becoming less faint with each passing minute. He lowered his head into the dark of his jacket.

"More of them come to test you sorcerer. You know what you must do, bastard child of my blood and flesh…"

"N-No…I don't want to…I wish for no more bloodshed! I don't want it, I don't want it!"

"Fool! Those fleshy puppets of bone and organs…they will have your life! They will kill you without hesitation! Such is the foulness of this world! Do not succumb to this weakness of hesitancy and distrust! You do what you must to survive!"

"Why? Why do they hate me so much? W-What have I done?"

The cold embraced his face, the tears feeling as sharp ice beneath his eye sockets. He sighed, feeling the cool air snake from his mouth. His frigid breath appearing as the face of a demon before it vanished before him. With a massive flare of lightning, the gleam revealed the thrown of corpses from which he sat. One dismantled body atop the next, each face pale and lifeless. The blood ran as a stream from the crown of the dead throne at his feet, running as a creek to the fertilized soil beneath him. He sat atop the backside of the highest victim, feeling the cries and vengeful souls of the dead creeping up his spine, piercing his darkened spirit beyond reality.

"Gene Arch, Genesis of my ambition, blind sorcerer of purity and redemption, do you not see it? You're disgust for human life is not mere coincidence my dear identical…I have chosen you, as the key to unveil the true light amongst which this world has never seen before. They are jealous Gene…They wished to have upon them the power of a true spiritual being, however I have recognized them as sinful and self-righteous fools! They would punish you for your purity and grace."

"You lie! Why then…why do they come to me with such hate and repulsion? I hear them shout "vengeance" and "atonement"! Please, you must tell me what my eyes cannot see! What accursed things have these hands done that I can only hear their heart cleaving cries?"

"My poor Gene…I could only explain to you what misconceptions that those of your kind have made about you on their own behalf…You must use chaos as means of reconciliation and repent."

The cries of humans became more present with each shout. Gene stood upon the mount of corpses, the lightning hissing in the sky above. His face was sharp, his fists balled with a building blue-silver flame. The heavy wind carried the flowing tails of his jacket toward the potential onslaught of human sin just beyond the trees.

"Have mercy upon them if you will Gene. But know that they will cast you into the pit of despair and suffering at first chance. Purity is beyond their reach, if they are allowed to live, they will thirst for blood as scavengers in the night…"

"Mercy…I know nothing of the word. This foul stench in the air is not the decay of flesh, but the ongoing birth of more iniquity into this world. You have chosen me, and I will not allow the opportunity to rectify all the malice in this world fall into the shadow!"

Gene's body became consumed in the flame, his blind eyes suddenly becoming the most red of blood. Black pupils formed as diamonds in the center as his vision came into view. His eyes saw the humans that charged from beyond the trees, yet they appeared to him as uninhabited beasts of chipped fangs and nails. Their fur was matted and wild, their eyes bloodshot, appearing to have no particular target. Their torches appeared as the flaming swords they carried. The illusion absent in Gene's eyes, his teeth clenched with the wicked deities that stood before him.

"Merciful God…" One said with disbelief.

"T-There are so many of them…" Another said.

"He…did all of this? H-He's a monster! He must be stopped!" Another cried. The sound of outraged humans echoed in Gene's ears as ravenous cries of rampant dark souls.

"Hear me and hear me well lost souls! Speak repent now and I will not spill your unworthy blood! Recognize your taint and ask forgiveness!"

The blue flame arose above Gene to his lack of knowledge, the flame morphed to that of an atrocious demon's face, compelling the group of humans to retaliate in kind. Their shouts were nothing more than roars of undomesticated savages to Gene's ears. They raised their flaming swords and claws.

"That is your answer is it? Then so be it…May the hells have mercy on your forsaken souls, because I will not…"

"Gene Arch…genesis to the key of my chained soul…it is only a matter of time."
Chapters:   1 2 Next »

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This book has 9 comments. Post your own now!

156zcm said...
Jun. 19, 2011 at 2:16 pm
your a great writer and all i have to say is grammer and if you could could you check out my book its called Wizard Test Book 1 and i realy need someone elses imput. thanks.
Ebonykitty said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 6:58 pm

I loved it! I can't wait to read more!


Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 25, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Your grammar and word usage comes across as incredibly awkward, and is extremely offputting.
CoryMcIntosh04 replied...
Dec. 28, 2010 at 7:52 am
Thank you very much for your input, if you have any advice, I would be more than happy to listen!
Jacob44 said...
Dec. 25, 2010 at 9:05 pm

Wow, what a great beginning, this is the kind of story that teen(and beyond!) fantasy readers have been waiting for(especially me).  I can't wait to finish reading  your book. I am also curious, what does Bete' Noire mean? I suppose it is french, but I am at a loss to the meaning. Thanks for writing and keep up the great work!


Jacob44 replied...
Dec. 25, 2010 at 9:09 pm

i figured Noire out, it means Black i think. Correct me if im wrong


Jacob44 replied...
Dec. 25, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Oops, how dumb of me, it says what it means at the top(i was nowhere close)!
CoryMcIntosh04 replied...
Dec. 28, 2010 at 7:53 am
Haha, I'm glad that you enjoyed it! I do plan to continue with this story again in January. It needs some editing but I'm glad you're satisfied with what I have so far :D 
Jacob44 replied...
Dec. 29, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Ack! I can't wait! Good luck and happy writing! :P :)

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