The Mage's Dream

March 28, 2013
By nightblade, Smithers, Other
nightblade, Smithers, Other
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. ~ Mewtwo


Summary:

Jane begins her journey selling pies and a plan to admire the scenery, but that is not what fate decided. William the idiot is how she soon came to see him as for many others in their group.
One paragraph be needed.


nightblade

The Mage's Dream


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This book has 5 comments.


on Aug. 10 2013 at 2:55 pm
CurlyGirl17 SILVER, Corydon, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 95 comments
Hey, it's me again! I just wanted to let you know I've posted the rest of Metalligirl- feedback would be great; your story was really good and the comment you gave me last time was really informative and thorough!

on Apr. 5 2013 at 3:55 pm
CurlyGirl17 SILVER, Corydon, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 95 comments
You're welcome! And thanks, I would love feedback! The only thing I was a little confused about was where the main character was from; that was pretty much it. By the way, I like your author's note. :)

nightblade said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 1:15 am
nightblade, Smithers, Other
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. ~ Mewtwo

NOTICE from the writer i would appreciate the helpto improve my story and make it more enjoyable! :D Also tell me what  I could do better with the action parts since this one was my first ever  

nightblade said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 1:13 am
nightblade, Smithers, Other
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. ~ Mewtwo

Thank you! I'm glad you gave me some feedback and actually read it!  If you hadn't told me I would have been thinking I couldn't i should put less description all of my life.  Can i bother you with telling me what didn't make sense? You know the holes in the story. Ah my god! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!  P.S - you don't have to tell me the parts if you don't want to because I'm going to read yours regardless and give you honest feedback.

on Apr. 3 2013 at 4:12 pm
CurlyGirl17 SILVER, Corydon, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 95 comments
That was nice! I like your setting; this is an interesting story! My only suggestion would be a little less dialogue and a little more description; I liked what I read, but I was a little confused with what was happening. I would really appreciate it if you left a comment on the first chapter of my story, Metalligirl- I could always use some more feedback, too! Again, good job! :)




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