The Endless Mind

May 10, 2011
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I stepped out of the darkness without entering the light. I screamed at the top of my heart and realized I will not be heard. I was singing bird in a deaf world, a microphone in the hands of a mute, a painting in a blind alley. I was everything inside of nothing, nothing at all.

As I sat, at least I think I was sitting, I began to ponder. I groped for answers, memories, anything. Finally I asked the simplest question, but found no answer. Who am I? I came to accept at last I was nothing, was in nothing, possessed nothing, and knew nothing, nothing at all.

I thought and questioned after many days, why nothing? I am here now let me live let all this nothing become something. Day after day I witnessed as my surroundings rose like a phoenix. Things I knew not of their existence showed themselves for the first time rising from the ashes as my voice helped them grow. Stars of light lit the sky above, as ocean waves crashed against the rocky mountains. Pillars of fire rose from the earth so high that they seemed to rain from the sky above. The wind rushed through the valleys as I formed this new world from what was not even dust. My world within a few weeks became my universe bustling with creations from ants to planets.

As I kicked around in the comfort of my liquid bed, I felt an odd sense of warmth and a push on the edge of my world. With that touch a thought rekindled its light in my mind, where am I? As I think back every day to the past, to that touch, that moment, that feeling of love, and warmth. Never in my time in this world did I feel anything like that touch. That moment that made me think where am I, who am I, and most important am I? Over time I grew lonely very lonely, I felt my world shrinking, or was I growing?

I began to think once again how did i build all of this? Where did it all come from? Where did I come from, did I arrive yet? Am I unborn? No! how could I build all this if I am not born. Why am I alone? Where is everyone and why cant I remember any of them. Am I dead? All these questions dwelled in my mind while I lay in my liquid bed. Turning round and round periodically feeling a force push my world. I felt it once again just as in the beginning of time the empty void I tried to escape. The feeling of nothingness that gave birth to this world, and haunted me for so long. I realized finally that that feeling drove me to build this world as refuge.

I thought for long about that feeling throwing my mind into a state of chaos. I lost all known mentality, and entered an insane state of mind. I pondered day and night the thoughts of infinite minds as my trip through this world was coming to an end. The further my mind slowly collapsed the further my world reacted in unison. Buildings crashed, nature went alight and my world and mind became nothing. Nothing at all is what remained,complete darkness in my endless void. After a few days I forgot, forgot who I was, and where I am. I began to kick and squirm throwing myself against the walls of my home.
Then there was light, as a slit in my world emerged. Two great arms reached out groping for me, and I sat staring in awe at the miracle before me. Suddenly I was pushed out with such a great force I had no time to grab hold of anything. There I was now in a new world, one with purpose, one with life, one with a new hope, and a new journey.

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