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An Hour At Wal-Mart on Black Friday

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In all of our colorful lives, we have times that we can enjoy a little mayhem. These brief periods of chaos happen to all of us in many different ways. One day out of the year, however, millions engage in what may be the wildest center of mayhem; Black Friday. This year, I traveled to Black Friday’s most exotic and chaotic shopping frenzy; Wal-Mart.
Upon walking in, I passed under a giant wreath emblazoned with the words, “save money, live better.” As I continued on into the superstore, I was soon surrounded by others who were obviously full of the black Friday spirit. On my right, was an interesting looking middle aged woman franticly looking through a pile of $5 Christmas movies. It seemed that she too had been taken away by the Christmas madness. Apparently, in her quest for the best deal, she forgot to keep up with her hair. Most of her luscious locks were a pleasant shade of strawberry blonde. The top six inches, however, had obviously been neglected since her last trip to the beauty parlor; they were a very silvery shade of grey.
As I continued my journey through the discount jungle, I was able to observe the many Black Friday sales that were no doubt, enticing to the right crowd. I met a particularly strange Black Friday bargain as I walked down the baby aisle. On the baby-bargain shelf, I saw the typical, and the not so typical baby items. They included diapers, bottles, toys, highchairs, XXL Big Daddy Santa boxers, an XL “I want daddy” Mrs. Clause mini-skirt, and a single vibrating slipper. Hmmm. Something seemed out of place…
Next, I moved on to the sporting goods section. Here I was met with a most bizarre experience. As I was walking past the gun shelf, I overheard a short, jumpy woman telling a story to the clerk. “…then we saw a raccoon attacking the duck my husband wanted to shoot, so he shot at the raccoon but missed,” the animated little woman said, “It ran up a tree, but he [her husband] shot it. It fell down and ran up another tree, so he shot it again. It fell out of that tree and started to crawl away. My husband shot it again and it stopped moving. After that he shot the duck.” It seems to me, that this woman and her husband have a somewhat unhealthy love for shooting things. As I walked on, I wondered who had first bought a gun for that enthusiastic couple.
Finally, my hour was up. As I made my way to the exit, I passed by the last strange characters I would see that day. It was finally time for me to bid farewell to the Dale Earnhart look alikes, the bargain crazed old ladies, and the enthusiastic children running to and fro. The last thing I saw, as I approached the exit, was the explosion of glass that ensued after a crazed shopper threw a vase across an aisle.
Looking back on the colorful experience, I can conclude that my hour in Wal-Mart on Black Friday was one of the most chaotic times in my life. Somewhere between the vase exploding and the plentiful assortment of bargain bound shoppers, however, I think I enjoyed a little Christmas mayhem. Now, as I look back on the colorful experience, I can pleasantly recall my sixty minutes of madness.





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