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Race

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It was the day for the coach to tell us if we were on Jv or Varsity. I was nervous, because I did'nt know who I was going to be with.

Finally, the coach said my name and I made it to Varsity.She gave us the uniform,sweats, and shoe's.She also told us what we had to run.She put me in the 1600.Sonya and I had to run the 1600.When all the girl's were done changing, we waited for the bus.The bus arrived,and it took us to Kincade.The track field looked big!we streched and did some excersices.Sonya told me that a 1600 is a mile,and a mile is four laps around the field.
A few week's later, I got used to running a mile.Sonya told me that I was going to run with her at the race.Our coach told us that we have a track meet this saturday,and wehave to arrive at five in the morning.School was over,and I went to go get dressed.The bus arrived.Sonya and I sat next to each other,and she asked me How did I feel about running the 1600?I told her I felt nervous.She told me when I'm running just to pass a person one by one,and not to think about the laps.
Finally,the day came it was saturday morning.The coach told us we can sleep until we arrive.an hour passed,and my race was coming up.Sonye and I got warmed up fro the race.They shot the gun,and I got scared and it made me run faster.By the time I knew it,the race was over.I was exhauisted!Sonya congradulated me saying I did a good job for my first race.Her words inspired me the most.





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kielymarie said...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 6:36 pm
I like the idea, but it needs serious work. It's very choppy and your telling rather than showing. Try describing your emotions rather than saying "i was nervous". Try "My knees knocking, I took my place next to Sonya and took a deep breath."
 
Bethani said...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Good job! Please check out my writing at annoymous, highlands ranch, colorado. some of my work is high on love, don ambler's granddaughter, and opening to light. please comment and rate! thank you
 
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