As I have grown older, and in my 18 years of life, I have learned a few things about love. When we are young, love is something we all learn at a very young stage of our life. We experience it from our parents, family, friends, pets, etc. In my opinion, love is happiness, an act of kindness, a feeling of true deep affection, and warmth. I am a firm believer that love is shown through our words and proven with our actions. At such a young ignorant age, love is a word that is easily thrown around by everybody because we have not experienced it before. For example, a boy in your class bought you flowers and said a few nice things to you, and now you are suddenly “in love” with the guy... but that is not true love. As we grow older, I think that true love with another human being becomes something that you feel as you mature as a person. If you are caught up in drama, insecure with yourself, or cannot trust anybody, you will not be able to obtain a mature relationship, and those are the ones that grow and last the longest. I have mistaken love with so many things before. Yes, I love my mother, I love my pets, and my family, but there was a whole different kind of love that I strived to feel. Something I have learned is you cannot force it to come to you. I searched for it in the wrong people, had my heart shattered to pieces many times, and then grew from it. A struggle is placed in your life and it forces and allows you to grow and prosper and that is what happened to me. Love should make you feel good, you cannot chase after something that does not want you.

A couple years ago I wanted to feel a connection with someone so bad, but they did not care. I found myself doing things for them that they would not do for me, I was always there for the person no matter what, but he did not care to check up on me or ask me how I was doing. I cared and had buckets full of love for this person that did not feel the same way. I only focused on the positives of our relationship rather than the overwhelming negatives, because that is the kind of person I am. There was so many empty promises of them saying they will change but never do, and so many moments of me justifying their own actions and telling myself “they will change, it just takes time”. When he gave me attention and showed effort, I felt like the happiest girl in the world, and that is what I chased and craved. After putting so much work into someone, they had left. I didn’t leave, they did. It left me so broken that they left somebody that would’ve moved mountains for them, and they were so blind to all of the effort I had put forth. There was not even a simple, “thank you”. All of this time that I had been with this person, I thought it was love, but I had realized that it was not at all. I mistaken such a careless person for someone who was good and just needed a little guidance. Days, weeks, months and years went on without him. At first it was so hard getting used to the void that I needed to somehow fill, and the feeling of him being gone and out of my life. But soon, the days got easier and life got a little better each day. I found happiness and love in myself and my true friends. I put all of that focus and effort that was on him, into myself and I realized how much it helped me grow and prosper as a person. I found a new deep connection and love with everything about me and it made me feel good. I had become fully aware that all of this hurt had happened for a reason. We have to go through the bad to become a greater, stronger person. One saying that I will always live by is “everything happens for a reason.” When one door closes another one opens, and although it is hard, I now try and find something good in every negative situation that comes up in my life. Life is full of rejection and sadness, but we must rise above that and flourish with the positive things you are given. Once you overcome a hardship, or let go of something that had been dragging you down, you feel like you can do anything. True love is something that will come to me one day, and I am no longer rushing it anymore. I will live in the moment and whatever comes to me, will come to me. But this time I am doing it differently, I now love myself enough to be able to walk away from the bad and only chase the good. I will still choose to love with all my heart, despite it being broken a few times.