Nerves for Days

May 10, 2018
By Anonymous

Patience is very tricky: it is tough to wait, but once the waiting is over and the time for results have arrived delaying them a little longer does not seem so bad, considering the nerves. In my case, being agitated is second nature; although, the level of unrest I felt waiting to know if I received an officer position for my dance team was eating me alive. The day of the banquet, in which we find out who was voted to be an officer, was a bright, beautiful, hot Wednesday.


Waking up Wednesday morning, a knot in my stomach began to tug at my insides as I realized what event was going to take place that evening. At school, the tight knot in my stomach continued to grow, and the terrorizing thoughts that entered my mind would worsen every minute that crept by because it was getting closer to the announcement. For Lunch, I could not eat the sour, juicy, green apple I had brought because of my queasy stomach from anticipating what was to come. I tried to do anything in order to free my mind from agonizing over the upcoming news that would determine my future. I forced myself to keep busy by placing my eyes on my illuminating computer screen, in order to do school work. In staying busy I would not have free time to think about the events of the night; although, keeping busy was not effective. I attempted to focus on my strenuous school work, but my stubborn brain would drag up the terrible negativity that haunted me. I even interrogated the members by jabbering to them about who they voted for or who they thought would become an officer, and each of them soothingly declared their firm belief that I would be an officer. While everyone I questioned was extremely confident in me, their only eased my mental state slightly just to once again run rampant a moment later. I was trapped within the walls of my head and with all the clamor inside. Not even the shiny, green, brick walls of my school or the chatter and laughter in the atmosphere could soothe my soul. 


Finally, the school day was over, and although that meant I had one less thing to stress about it also meant the time was ticking away. I ran fast, with the wind blowing through my hair, to get into the shiny, white suburban, so my mom could speed home in order for my friend, my sister, and I to begin getting ready for the banquet. Once we got home, I meticulously brushed my face gently with the soft makeup brushes and pulled my clothes on, so I was ready to leave. On the ride to the banquet, the only thoughts that replayed in my mind were the events that would unravel through the night. Walking into the banquet, the room was glowing with sunlight and flashes from cameras that people were beaming their white glistening smiles towards. A few minutes later, all of the members of the dance team, including myself, took a sit on our cushioned chairs to begin the banquet. The banquet started with a sentimental prayer and then our moderators announced the outstanding members for the second semester and complete shock and joy filled my body when they enunciated, my name. Well, I was definitely not expecting that pleasing surprise. Next, we were allowed to dish out the aromatic pasta, green, leafy salad, and light, airy bread. Each bite of the creamy pasta satisfied my stomach and the peppery caesar salad, with the crunch of the croutons, refreshed me. After dinner, it was time for senior letters. Each letter was written from one of the freshman, sophomore, or junior members and personalized for a senior on the team. Many of the letters reminisce on memories the carmelettes have shared and depict the wonderful characteristics of that senior; a few of the letters even result in tears. When it was my turn to read my letter, I kept my eyes on the smooth, white, typed up paper I held in my hand and I spoke slowly with a peaceful nature. Once I was finished reading, I looked up at her, and I was filled with a sense of sadness and loss as I felt the warm, wet tears begin to roll down my face.


Finally, it was time for the new officers for the upcoming year to be revealed. The nerves were worse than they had been all day, and all I could do was silently pray. One of my moderators cheerfully stated who got captain and then my name for the first co-captain she continued to the call out the names of the other four girls, but all I could hear was mumbling and all I could see was the officer binder, with my name printed on it in blue lettering, through my teary eyes. For the rest of the night, a big pearly smile remained on my face. I learned that I need to have more confidence in myself and working hard towards a dream can really pay off!



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