It was when I was in 11th standard when I started liking this guy. I had two unsuccessful relationships in past and didn't want to break again. It was going pretty nice as he didn't had a clue about what I felt for him but it was not that good with me. Few days later he got friends with one of my friends who was kind of mean girls of the class and I almost got the s*** out of me because of jealousy. But somehow I controlled myself as noone knew my feelings. Another shock she gave me was that this guy was already committed and had a long distance relationship with some girl. It hit me really hard but even than I could not resist falling for him. 

Today it has been 15 months since the day I had crush on him and ever since today I am the only one who knows it. Even today I am in a dilemma whether to give up on him as he loves somebody else or keep it inside me suffocating myself and regretting for not being able to tell him what I felt for him , how much I loved him and how much I missed him...