Not Actually So Bad

May 3, 2018
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I believe my mistakes have value, no matter how bad the mistakes are.


I was a very clumsy and awkward child. I was constantly breaking something. I tripped going up the stairs a least once every day.  For a long time, I agonized over every little mistake I made. Whether that was not talking loud enough at a restaurant or telling my parents I wanted to go to Saint Louis, Missouri instead of Bay Saint Louis, Mississippi, I always felt a deep regret for every little error I made. I put off learning to drive for a long time because one little thing could cause a gigantic mistake that I couldn't fix. It wasn't until some point in high school that I realized the things I did wrong didn't hold very much value at all. Somehow, I figured out that the earth didn’t stop turning just for me. Little things got to be less stressful for me. If I had to repeat myself three times at the checkout counter, that was fine because I would never see that person ever again. If I managed to leave my house without any of the things I would obviously need of my day, that was okay too because I get to learn where I can buy those things for cheap.


I began to see my mistakes as valuable opportunities. I could always learn something I didn't know or remember something for next time. I believe mistakes have the ability to tell me more about myself. If I don’t have an assignment done on time, I know that either I overestimated my abilities or that I need to reevaluate how much I care about that class. This is not to say that I am now nihilistic or reckless. I still put as much time and care into my work as possible. I just move about things in a way that doesn’t fear to be wrong. I feel like a perfect day is good, but one with a few stumbles is great. This idea lets me try new things with the understanding that nothing I do can truly be that bad.


Of course, I express this belief better on some days than others. Sometimes I get stranded on the interstate for lack of gas and still tell my mom a joke when she gets there. Other days, I just have to thank God I’m not stuck alone.






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