It's hard to explain to people how terrible life is when they can view life from a completely different angle. It's hard to explain how the people who were hugging and comforting you yesterday are the people who are hurting you today. Why do people have to leave? I don't know what's worse the slow painful death of our relationship or the quick hopeless loss of a friend. At the end of the day does it really matter? Either way they're gone, like a kid on a sunny day, they have to go. There are better offers for them away from you, theirs a place that seems happy. I can't blame them if I saw happiness I would chase it too, but I would show it to my friends so we could chase it together.
You chose one happiness over another. Did you know that would ruin my happiness? It ruined me. Certain people made me up, each being a solid peace, a piece of my heart and life's foundation. But when those people leave so does that piece, some weaken first then completely wither away, and some just break off. Either way, they leave me empty, they leave me hurting, alone, suffocating in my own thoughts. People have been stolen from me. Stolen from me by other people, by cancer, by death, by the devil, or by the unknown better offer. I don't mind hurting a little if you're taken by a person who is hurting and needs you more than I do, but when you break away to go help someone whose foundation is already strong... then I hurt. Cancer is an indescribable word. It's the definition of my hatred, it's the reason my foundation started to break, and it's the reason I'm breaking away more and more every day. If cancer were a person I would hope they were satisfied because there's not much more from me they could take, they're not much of me they could take. In fact, there's not much of me at all. My foundation is rebuilt without me even realizing it, I don't realize those small cornerstones that helped support so much of me. I don't realize the big pieces that were steadily growing. I don't realize any of it until it's gone. Then it's too late, it doesn't matter anymore because they're gone and the chances of them coming back are like the chances of surviving cancer. Rare. Possible. But if it does happen odds are it will just repeat itself and become the ongoing, eternal, cycle of hurt.