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Innocence of a Child
Innocence is one of the many things a child has when they are born.
Though as you grow older you lose some or it’s stolen from you.
My innocence was stolen as a child. Perhaps yours to was stolen
And that’s why your reading this or maybe your just interested. So here
It is and by that I mean here is my secret. Here is my secret I held as a
child. A secret no child should have to hide or even think of. But now a the
age of 15 I come out and say it. I was sexually abused at age 6 and 7.
I was a six year old girl in foster care when it happened the first time. I
was energetic, funny, smiling little girl and the moment he touched me
I changed. I was then a terrified girl not knowing what was wrong with me.
I was now hiding behind the old me while the memories and the fear ruined
me. I feared the next time I would see him. This man touched me and abused
me about 8 times and I thought I was the cause of this. This grown man
made me fear each day, each man, each second of my days. My innocence
has been leaving my soul, my body and every inch of my body since he ruined
me. This man was my childhood best friends dad. They moved I thought it was
the end of the abuse. I lived the next couples months with the little bit
of innocence that was left. At age seven I didn't remember what innocence was.
I didn’t remember how innocence felt. Another man abused me and touched me.
It ruined me forever. I grew up homes of strangers who then abused me verbally and
physically. I realize my innocence was gone the moment the man touched me
the first time. At age six my life as a child ended. I lived in fear and guilt for years.
At age 15 almost 16 I realize it wasn’t my fault. That doesn’t mean I’m not afraid
to be around men cause I am afraid. It wasn’t my fault I was a child that didn’t know
why this was happening. I didn’t know why I had to go through this. I blamed myself
for everything. I thought so low of myself at age six. These two men ruined my life.
I will never forget those moments even though I wish I could. This is not to get attention
or so get people to feel bad for me I want to share this. I want to share my story not
only to help myself but maybe help others. Sharing your story won’t get back your innocence
or make you forget but it helps you in way I can’t even explain. Knowing that sharing my story
could help others in the same situation helps me. So there you have it my story of how
my innocence was stolen as a child.