It has been said that people have deeper conversations while they are in the car. Not having to look directly at each other and having other important things to focus on throughout the conversation might have something to do with it. I didn’t think much of this until early today on my way back from Meijer with my two friends in the car. Liam said something to me that he would never say at another time.
Liam and I have been friends for a few years now. We just started to get really close a few months ago. I would like to think of him as somebody who wouldn’t intentionally hurt me. It was surprising to me that he said this today, knowing that I have been going through some others issues.
On the way home, my other friend Travis brought up the topic of church in a peculiar way. “If me and this girl don’t work out, I’m only going after christian girls. I’m going back to church.” I let out a little laugh at this and the mood changed in the car. Liam turns to me and says “Wow, out of all people I thought you would be supportive of something like this. Why did you laugh at that?” I responded by keeping my gaze forward at the road and saying “He just said that he is going to church to pick up girls.” Travis and Liam went on defending their case. I finally cut them off by saying “Fine. Do you want to go to church with me Saturday?”
They both know I am Seventh Day Adventist, but it doesn’t usually come up in conversation. Now that I know how the conversation plays out when it is brought up, I don’t play on ever bringing it up with them again. Liam says “Why are you Seventh Day Adventist?” and I tell him it was just because I was raised in it. “I like going to church, I like my friends through the church, and I like feeling as if there is a higher purpose in life.” Taking a minute to analyse all the information, Liam says “Yeah, but what is different about this religion than all the others? You go to church on Saturday. That’s it. It’s so stupid.”
I didn’t take my eyes off of the road again. He just kept repeating it. “That’s so stupid.” Your religion is stupid. What you like to believe in is stupid. Everything you built your life on is stupid. “You guys just want to be special and different from everybody so you have the sabbath on a Saturday.” He continued repeating himself. He has said this to me multiple times before and they always sting, but this time it almost made me cry. I didn’t take my eyes off the road.
He kept on, not understanding my silence as a hint to stop talking. At this point I chose to zone out. I didn’t want to hear anymore. There was a silence that fell over the car and I turned to him. “What? I stopped listening.” I said looking at him for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. He always thinks that I am tearing up or crying when I am just fine, but then never notices when I really am. He ends this discussion with “That was probably the best for our friendship.”