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Never Coming Back
“I love you, never forget that” My dad told me.
“Sure”, I response.
Those words stayed on my mind.
It was a sunny afternoon, it was very hot, and I was alone on my house and I was waiting for my dad to come from work. My dad was the kinda man that never give up on the problems he had to deal with, he was about 5’2, and he loved coffee, and he always had Marlboro cigarettes on his pockets.
It had only one year and six months of being here in America, my dad always said that my future was here.
Then the phone rang it was my aunt, and she was crying.
“You ok? Is everything all right?” I said.
“Can you come to the hospital? Your dad is here and we need to talk to you very seriously.”
“Sure,” I responded. I was shocked and I didn’t know what to do at that moment.
I catched the bus as fast as I could, my hands were sweating, and I knew that my father wasn’t feeling well in the last two months, but I thought it would pass away and that he would be fine again.
When I walk in to the hospital I ask for my dad, the nurse on the reception tells me the location that my father was in, eight floor, room 212.
Then I enter in to the room, everyone was quiet, I saw my father on the bed, he was sleeping. My aunt looked at me, my aunt is tall, she has brown eyes, and a very nice smile, and she always told me that everything was going to be ok.
The doctor came in, his look was sad, then he said that he wants to talk to me and my aunt, my heart was beating so fast that I knew that something bad was going to happen.
“Ok, so your father’s situation is very serious, he came in with a terrible face pain, and as you could see a tumor is beginning to grow in the right cheek, your dad has cancer, and the worst part is that, this part of cancer is very strange, we don’t know how we are going to start this treatment, I'm sorry.” Dr. Lopez told me. I translate to my aunt and when I finished a tear came down her cheek.
Cancer, I couldn’t get that word out of my mind. Why do this have to happen to my father? How this could happen so quickly? Those where the questions that were on my mind all day. Every time I hear the word cancer I think of death.
The time passed, sadly my dad wasn’t getting any better. Every time I looked at him, flashbacks came to my mind of all the good memories that I had with my dad.
I had to take care of my father all the summer, it was a pretty hard, and nice experience.
I learned how to cook, and be more organized.
Some days were pretty hard when my father didn’t want to eat, or do anything, he said he had too much pain.
I visited my father in my uncle’s house, when I entered in to his bedroom I felt something on my chest, I want to scream, and sometimes I said that this was just a bad dream.
One day, I went to visit my father, it was a hot summer, the house was hot, I tried to put some air conditioner, but it was too hard, I went in to my father’s bedroom, he was awake, he was looking at me like we want to tell me something.
“How you’re feeling today? Do you need something dad?” I asked
“Come here, honey” he whispered, he looked tired than usual.
“Sure” I answered.
“ I want to tell you how much I love you, and I’m sorry if I wasn’t there when you need me, I love you, and I just don’t want to be any more like this, I’m sorry to said this, but I surrender, I can’t take this anymore” my father said, I saw how his eyes filled with tears.
“No father, you can’t said that, we need to fight back, you’re going to recover, you can’t leave, you can’t” I said.
I leaved the room, I didn’t want to see me cry, and I need to be strong for him, like he was for me.
The days went by, and I was going with my father to the radiotherapy, I was heartbroken. At the hospital I saw people fighting to save their lives, as my father.
It always smelled like alcohol and medicine.
The lady that always helped my father, was very sweet, gentle and kind, she always wear bright colors, I always liked the way she talk... It was unique, but then I was never to see her again.
My father finished his treatment, the doctor said that there was nothing to do. My father was terminal, in any moment he would be gone…forever.
The Doctor said that my father would probaly lived six to seventh months. I didn't wanr to believe it.
My father always told me that he want to die on his country, Colombia, so my family make the choice of taking my father back to Colombia.
When we were on the airplane, I saw the green mountains, and I feel at home again.
“Do you feel happy? You’re at home daddy” I told my dad.
He didn’t response, he was too tired.
I’ve noticed that since my father got sick, he was quieter, I missed his jokes, his tales, and his smile. Cancer stole my dad happiness.
I stated with my father two weeks, then I had to say good bye, and I didn’t know if I would see him again.
“Bye dad, I love you and remember that everything it’s going to be ok, you can do this, and I will be waiting for you at home, our home”, I said.
He nodded, we hugged. I felt his bones, he was very skinny.
We cried together and then we said good bye.
I came back to America, to begin a new school year, began I knew live without my father.
I always called him, every afternoon, to see how he was doing, sometimes he didn’t want to talk, but he hear me, I always told him how much I loved him, and missed him.
After six months, one day my aunt came to pick me up from school, I tough that why she came, it was very weird, I saw her dressed in black, and in the way home she didn’t even put the radio on. When we got home, she told me that she need to talk to me.
“I need to tell you something, everything is going to be ok” she said.
“Sure, is everything ok” I answered
“Honey, your dad passed away this morning” she told me looking down.
I didn’t said anything, I was shocked, and at that moment memories came back to me.
I took a deep breath and look down hoping he would be in a better place.
Was this really happening to me? Did I lose my best friend? Why the world have been so cruel to me? I was very angry with the universe, why me?
I had lose my best friend, the one that was for me when I had a problem, or when I was sick he will be there for me when I need him. He also teach me tough lessons. That day I learned that we need to love our family our parents no matter how they are, or how they look like.
Sometimes I regret, of the time I hurt my father’s feelings, but it was too late, to say I’m sorry…He was gone forever, and I would never see him again.