“You’re so stupid”, the voice echoed along the hollow walls of her mind, “you’re not pretty enough, you’re not skinny enough, and you aren’t good enough. How could you think he’d every like you?” She wanted to plug her ears, she wanted to scream for the voices to stop, for the harassment to seize, but she couldn’t. She knew no amount of reaction would ever stop the voices in her head. At this point, she didn’t even fight back. She didn’t try and tell herself she was good enough, that she actually was intelligent, because she knew it would be pointless. The voices were louder than any voice she could manifest. It was a losing battle and the only option now was to wait for the silence, for the mercy of the occupants. So that’s what she did, she waited, and waited, and waited. But the voices didn’t stop coming, they seemed only to be expanding, repeating the same mantras over and over. Now she could feel their fury in the aching of her heart and the rapidness of her breathing. They were not giving up, no, not today.
February 15, 2018