Bob is stupid

February 8, 2018
By Anonymous

Dear Bob,
       Please learn to respect me and not treat me the way you do. All you ever do is scratch me and yell at me because you are fat and want more food. You are a cute cat, but even though you are doesn’t mean that you can walk over me and act like you own the place. And even when I am petting you, you often bite and scratch me for no reason.
   I would like you to try and be more nice to me and not yell for food all day. I really like you but not when you are being annoying. I think that you would become much more likable and not be hated by my friends for screaming into my microphone all day when I am playing video games.
     Your habits have gotten really bad, so bad that I have gone to the point of making a letter in english class about how annoying you can be. If you were to stop being so annoying I would spend much more time with you and not make you go away so often. You are sometimes a very nice cat, but only when you aren’t mad or hungry (almost all the time), and I wish that you would change.
      I remember when you got you when you were a kitten and you were so sweet and were never mean or annoying towards me and I wish that you could be like that again. Over the many years that we have had you, slowly got more needy and rude to others. I hope that some you could be like you once were.

     Have you changed because of the dog, or your sister Sasha, has her absolute hate and fear for everything reflected onto you and made you crazy as well. Or is Portia the reason you have changed. She always follows you and wants to be your friend, but you fear her and attach her in fear of her attaching first (which she never has), has that made you so paranoid and mad.

      Have you changed so much because of me? Did you change because I have not been spending as much time with you and more time online with friends. Do you think that If I treated you the exact same way that I did when we got you, you would be the same as you were then.

     Those are the reasons that I wish that you could change. I really want you to change so I can spend more time with you, but at the moment you are often not nice to me and or yell at me. You are a really fun cat and I think that if you tried to you could change and become a much more likable cat. I know you are a cat and will probably never even consider me writing this, but please if you do read this, understand what I want and change.

                                                                                         Your Friend,

The author's comments:

My cat is stupid and needs to stop now.

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