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The Slide Incident
One of the most vividly embarrassing memories I have, took place in a McDonalds. When I was young, it was sort of a tradition to go out to lunch after school on Fridays. It was always me, my grandma, her friend Tammy, that babysat some kids at my elementary school. Sometimes the kids she babysat would come to lunch too, but on this day it was just the three of us.
On this particular Friday, we decided to go to McDonalds. I never cared much for McDonalds food, I would’ve much rather went to Niko’s, the Italian restaurant on 6th street. But I had no complaints, I liked the toys that came with the kids meal, and they had a gymnasium. It had slides and tubes of every color, it even had some see through plastic bubbles for you to look through and wave Hello to your parents below.
When we walked in the McDonalds, it was a little packed because everyone had just gotten off of school but eventually the cashier worked their way down to us. I ordered the same thing I would always get from McDonalds, a kids meal with chicken nuggets and fries and an orange Hi-C to drink. I didn’t like much else on the menu, I’ve always been a bit of a picky eater.
We got our food and we grabbed a seat. In the middle of lunch, I noticed that one of my classmates was there with his mom. He waved at me with his hand high in the air in an obnoxious fashion.
For the purposes of preserving my last shred of dignity, I will not name this boy. All I can say is he was the rambunctious type. He was always in trouble for talking too much in class or roughhousing with the other boys. He even looked kind of obnoxious, his hair was frequently spiked up with a ludicrous amount of gel.
But on that fateful Friday, I decided it’d be fun to play with someone else for a change, I usually just went and played by myself. The boy and I played together for a while, just going down the slide and climbing back up to go again and again.
It was all fun and games until we went down the slide a final time. This time, we decided to go down the slide on our bellies, with our hands out to catch ourselves when we got to the end. He went first and I went second.
However, when we both emerged from the slide, he shouted, “Oh my god, you touched my butt!”
“No I didn’t!” I replied. I was certain I didn’t touch him, but I was shocked and embarrassed by his accusation.
“Yes you did.”
“No I didn’t.”
It went back and forth like that a few times. The boy wasn’t really upset, he was just reacting in an ew cooties type of way.
Even though I was cherry red, trying to assert my innocence, he would hear none of it. After that exchange, I went back to my grandma and her friend who heard nothing. They asked me if I was ready to head out and I wholeheartedly said yes.
After the incident I tried to repress the cringeworthy memory. I still went to school with the boy from the slide for the rest of elementary and all of middle school. We even talked a few times over the years with no mention of the slide incident, I thought he’d forgotten. However, at some point during 8th grade he asked me, “Hey, do you remember the time you touched my butt in the McDonalds slide?” I insisted I had no memory, but I only wished I could forget the slide incident.