What is Closure?

December 17, 2017
By , Bridgewater, NJ

It gets better. 

There was a time in my life where I thought I was at my happiest. Maybe I was, but only time will tell. I had two best friends, and a boyfriend of 6 years! Junior year begun, and it started out as nothing anyone had said. I refused to let it be what everyone said, I wanted to come out of Junior year saying it was the best. But, sadly, it was the absolute worst. I suffered from depression, and told my two best-friends and boyfriend. They didn't help. My mom lost her job, I picked up two jobs to help out. I had to have my skin melanoma removed, resulting in a year without Lacrosse. My Mom and I weren't getting along. Junior Prom rolled around and my friends wanted a Prom Bus! I couldn't afford to pay for it with everything going on. This made one of my friends angry, because I couldn't go. We got into a fight that ended our friendship. She became a bully to me, and my other friend did nothing. My other friend basically dissappeared. My depression got increasingly worse. My boyfriend and I broke-up because I couldn't handle the responsibility and I needed to take care of myself. I stupidly thought we were going to get back together after I recovered. But no. He became best friends with my ex-bestfriends. Life went on without me. He bullied me, and I managed to leave school early crying everyday for the month of April and May. My ex boyfriend told people I cheated on him... the people who were closest to me, hurt me. The people who knew what I was going through, and confided in, left me with it all. I was alone. I sat by myself most days at lunch. I had dirty looks thrown at me, from people I did nothing wrong to. I lost everything I knew. I was hospitalized in the summer of 2017. I joined an Outpatient group, which took up most of my time. It was three-days a week, and basically taught me how to control my thoughts and how to cope in a healthy way. I graduated November 30th, 2017. It was 4 months of determination to get healthy. I am alive today, because I kept telling myself that this isn't my life forever. I kept reminding myself that it HAS TO get better than this. I always had my family on my mind, and I never want to let them down. My ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend are now dating. I see them 5 days a week at school together. Of course it hurts. But, they are just a part of my story. They were a huge part of my life. I can thank them for all the smiles and laughs, and teaching me how to be stable on my own. Thank you for making me the strong person I am today. My closure is knowing that they will never be able to understand the pain they enflicted. My closure is moving on, and knowing that I am a better human being and karma exists.

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