After counting down the seconds of each day since Saturday, I realized Tuesday had finally arrived. Two days had passed since tryouts, and I could not stop biting my nails. The thought, “Would I become a member of the Carmelettes?” raced through my mind throughout the school day. Struggling to get through the day, I finally heard the dismissal bell ring. As Mrs. Simno said, “You all be careful,” I sat on the edge of my seat. I could not wait any longer. I darted to the auxiliary gym to receive the sealed envelope from Mrs. Doran. Knowing that I did not do the best at tryouts, I allowed many doubts and negative thoughts to circulate throughout my mind. As I peered to my left and right, I heard screams and saw girls jumping and hugging. My sister and I grabbed our letters and rushed to the car. As we hopped into the car, my dad jerked his head back to watch us open our letters. My sister, Carlee, ripped her letter open first. She threw her hands up in the air and exclaimed, “I am a Carmelette,” as she had a smile from ear to ear. My heart raced even faster. I began to ponder, “What if I did not make the team?” Shaking, I opened my letter. My eyes peered down to read the first couple of words. As soon as I did not see the words “Congratulations,” my heart dropped. Tears rolled down my face. Gasping for air, my dad’s uplifting words went in one ear and out the other. Not a single, positive thought stuck in my mind. From seeing my sister’s reaction from her letter, I knew she had joy inside her, but she refrained from showing the joy because she did not want to make me more upset. As we drove home, I kept thinking to myself, “I can never be good at anything not even dancing, and I have been doing it for over ten years now.” Nothing ever went my way. Sobbing uncontrollably, my face turned red and a headache came upon me. We finally arrived home, and my family rushed to hug and kiss me. The affection my family showed towards me allowed many of the negative thoughts to diminish. Pondering on the incident that just occurred, I began to think, “This is a sign from God that my sister and I will go our separate ways. Just because we are twins does not mean we will always be able to do everything together.” This thought allowed weights to be lifted off my shoulders. I felt an instant rush of relief. I could finally breath normal again. Taking deep breaths, I realized that this hardship allowed me to become more independent and responsible. Although having someone present with me all the time reflected comfort in me, I realized a new beginning had just started for me.
Identical but Unique
November 26, 2017