My Family Dynamic

November 15, 2017
By Anonymous

My family dynamic is interesting, but we are always there for each other, especially in our time of need. One of those times being when my cat Maisy died, and I will never forget how it happened. It was a couple of months ago, and we were in Tulum, Mexico when we got the news, and we were going to bed because we had a flight the next day going home.

Earlier that day my mom looked like she was crying, so I asked her if she was okay, she just told me she received some bad news but she would be okay. I figured it was something to do with her friends, so I just left it alone. So we went about our night and packed, and ordered a bunch of room service. After we ate, my parents came in and went to their conjoining room, where it sounded like they just talked for awhile. Then about twenty minutes later my parents came back in and sat us down on our bed. My dad told us he had some bad news and we found out this morning, Maisy died. My mom and I were both really close to Maisy, my dad also was close, but my brother who was allergic to cats didn’t really have any connection to her. I don’t like crying in front of my parents, so I held it until they left. My brother didn’t really have any reaction, he just looked a little sad.

We then, the next day, traveled back to our house, and when we entered I just ran upstairs, to where she usually is, in my parent's room. When I got there she wasn’t there and it broke my heart, and I felt like I couldn’t do anything. The next couple of days I just acted like nothing happened, and about a week later was when everything set in.

Over time our family grieved in different ways like my mom took a long time to grieve, and still, she is sad when ever her name is mentioned. My dad on the other hand was like a rock, he kept the family stable, but it was mostly for my mom. They both want to be strong for the family, but I can tell they they are having just as hard of a time as me.  My brother got over her death within five minutes of our parents telling him. That was really hard to see for me because I was having such a hard time dealing with her loss and to see him just be okay with it so fast, made me feel frustrated. But the other half of me felt jealous, I wished that I could get over the death that fast, so I could keep living my life. Even though I felt frustrated at  my brother the whole grieving process, he was still kind and supportive of me and my mom, who were actively grieving. I know that everyone grieves in different ways, some want to talk, some want to not talk. Some people want others in their life, some others just want to be alone. Even though we go through different stages of grief, at different times and speeds, I know that it is okay, and that we all need to support each other, however that person needs. So even though we went through different grieving processes, we were still there for each other, which I think is a good example of my family dynamic.

The author's comments:

I think that this piece went very good because the storyline went from more of a sad story, to show my family dynamic. I wanted the reader to see that even in hard times,  my family will come together and stay strong. Towards the end of my piece, I started describing how my family was acting during the death. I want to point out my dad, he was there for everyone, mainly my mom and I and that really shows how he is the ‘rock’ of the family. I could work a bit on some more details, like similes or metaphors. I could use some feedback on whether the transition from the sadder story to showing how my family acts together was okay, or if it was too choppy. I liked the mentor text, The Relatives Came by Cynthia Rylant because it showed how fast they came, but how sudden they left, just like how my cat died, it was unexpected and sudden.

This revision helped me achieve my goal of having more fluent writing by helping me see what flows nicely and what doesn't. Also if I really need somethings in my writing, or if it is unnecessary. I didn’t make any new changes based on my mentor texts because I thought that anything that was related to my mentor text was good.

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