As it is, it's hard for me to type this up.
Afraid someone I know will find it.
Afraid I'll be ridiculed and dismissed.
It wouldn't be the first time.
It was only about a year ago I heard the term “asexual.” And since then, my world's been different.
Suddenly, this lingering anxiety that I might one day have to participate in intercourse was eliminated—there were others, others like me.
To clarify, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction.
There are different levels of asexuality—some “aces” are okay with intercourse, if only to fulfill their partner, others find it disgusting and would rather stay away—and some are just in the gray, still figuring out the specifics as they go through different types of relationships.
Asexuals are part of a group I like to think of as the Mythicals. These are sexualities either nearly unheard of, or dismissed.
Among these are bisexuals, pansexuals, demisexuals, asexuals, aromantics, and others. I'd like to note right now that my computer has put a dotted red line below every one of these except bi.
There has been a struggle in recent years with this, because we are only now beginning to accept the “Gay Agenda” and introducing a whole other set can “throw people off.”
The Mythicals have always existed, but it's easy to throw them into another category.
It's easy to say a pan is bi, a demi is straight/bi, and the like.
Asexuals make up only 1% of the population, which is part of the reason there's little talk and almost no representation.
Until I realized I was ace, this world crazed over sex and romance seemed to have no place for me.
I felt like I was alone, isolated in a little bubble. Never really into boys, never into girls either.
Just. . .alone.
Sometimes I'd have a crush—but I'd soon be disappointed by some or other characteristic, or be too nervous about touching/kissing, etc.
I've also grown up in a Christian community.
Now, there's no real disapproval of asexuality in the Bible. And I've met plenty of Christians (myself included) who are perfectly accepting of all sexualities, in the strong belief that God loves all.
Not too many like that that I knew.
For the most part, it never really came up. Sometimes I'd have a guy friend over and they wouldn't let us hang out alone, or they'd make some remark about “keeping the door open” or having another person in the room at all times, or we'd have long chats about what's okay and what's not.
Hard not to roll my eyes in these situations.
There are times when I feel like screaming it out, so that the world would stop sexualizing me. But I know that the common reaction would be “What's that?” followed by a “Oh no, that's not a thing.” and then the “You just wanna feel special.”
It's like telling a person you have a disease that they've never heard of, and because they've never heard of it, they refuse to believe it's real.
I imagine coming out for the other Mythicals is the same.
The real reason I wanted to write this is to spread awareness, so that you know you're not alone, and to educate those who truly don't understand, so that they can understand better.
Because whatever your sexuality, no matter how dismissed, is a part of you. And you matter, no matter what this strange world says.