Chained to Life

October 23, 2017
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Chained to Life

 


Are there times when your parents just can’t stop arguing about money? Or about the classes you take? Or to make sure you get a good education and into a good college? Well, those are my parents all the time.
“Education is way more important than sports. If you don’t get educated, you won’t get into a good college,” my parents would often say.


It was a bright summer morning and I was sitting at my desk doing ‘Brighter Future Homework’ when I heard my parents say,“You know we won’t have enough money for her classes and her brother’s college,” my mom stated as my dad stared at her.


From the slightly open door, I listened to their argument. I felt my hands sweating an ocean while I made a fist. As I was sitting on my desk trying to finish my science homework, my tears welled up in my eyes. A tear poured down and blotched the paper. My hands were shaking and the red crayon broke from my grasp and landed on my table. I used my red crayon and scribbled darkly on my science homework while listening to their conversation. I knew my parents could not afford the things I do and to send both of my brothers to college. I knew that colleges can cost a lot. But my parents don’t know how much I love to fence. I hear my parents saying things like this way too many times. Either disagreeing about me to go to fencing classes or saving money. Dreams and money were never two things that were placed together. I sighed in exasperation. Fate would choose one of them.


“She needs to take more classes for math and science than to go to sports classes,” my mother said.
“But without her sports classes, it would even be harder for her to get into a good college,” my father argued.
“I am aware of that, but the main purpose of college is an education!” my mother exclaimed in frustration.


My fingers pained from shoving up my ear so much. I grabbed the nearest pillow and buried myself. I cuddled up in a circle and sheltered myself from the words getting to me. This is enough, enough already, I cried.
Money, money. Not enough. It isn’t fair. Lets quit her classes. No money. Let's move on.
They hovered over me and tugged me from all sides. For once, I felt exposed, unprotected, and unsafe. My destiny was sealed. My whole life was a no. Harsh words can sometimes be remembered longer than nice ones.
Why does everybody have to decide for me?


“UGH” I can still hear them. Everything that was in my grasp, I felt the urge to crush. My arms longed to seek the comfort given to me, however with none, my arms longed to destroy. Success can be achieved with your dreams. Almost all the time, all we do is disagree. After the argument halted, I found myself laying on my bed with my hand being all sweaty and my legs crossed pushing hard against each other.


After the long talk ended, I stood up and wiped the sweat off of me from holding on so much. I went outside my dark, lonely room and saw that it was all peaceful again. I thought to myself, I guess when a family is arguing, it always turns to peace again. I felt relieved.


“Brianna. Can you come out please?” my father said.
Oh no, please no...not again. I thought in my head.
“Yeah yeah I am already out. What is it?” I answered.
“We want to say that all we need from you is to be supporting and you will be a little busy.”
“Okay. Yeah sure.”
I knew my parents didn't want to explain so much to me because they always say I'm too young to understand anything and I think they are right. Kids do not understand parents too much because we can't see that they are trying their best to take care and do the best for us.


I went outside and laid on the grass in our backyard. I looked up and saw birds and the trees swaying. I wished that I could be one of them. Just swaying and flying from country to country. From place to place. But after I thought about it, birds also go through what people are going. Hard times when they miss their homes or someone they love. I went back inside and thought…”maybe I am already really lucky to have a family.”


The next day when I got homework, I needed big help.
“Hey Brandon, can you help me edit my social studies CER?” I asked my brother.
“Uh okay. Wait, I have homework too. And I am busy. So no. ”
It had been 10 minutes. I thought for sure that he wouldn’t have come in.
Knock knock it was my brother.
“I’m here,” he said.
Okay. So I actually thought that he wouldn’t come in because that is usually him, but the day after he left for college, I realized how much I need my brothers and how lucky I am to have them. I have gone through the time where my family is in help like when we didn’t have enough money for my fencing classes and when my brother was depressed. I know what it feels like to others that don't even get the time to have a family to support them. We have a great family and I can do what I love even though I am busy studying for school with barely any free time with the support of my family.  This is what a family is for.






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