I’ve never understood why it was you that I was chasing. Why you were the one I wanted. I didn’t want to love you and I never wished that you’d love me. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. And yet you stayed by my side, always telling me you loved me and asking me if I loved you too. You’d lay on me and hold me as if you wanted to be with no other guy but that wasn’t true now was it? You played me like a game of Chutes and Ladders. We kept progressing up together, happily, until we were about to win the game then you pushed me down the biggest slide of all. The problem is I didn’t gently slide down. Instead, I went tumbling feeling every bump and turn along the way until I hit rock bottom. Again. All because of some ignorant guy that wanted to jump into the calming waters and cause a tsunami of chaos and destruction. I just don’t understand why you’d even have to think about whether or not you want to leave me alone to talk to yet another guy. How many times have you shared with him the feelings that we shared? And how many nights have you lied on his lap while he held you and told you he loved you? That’s something that I had always believed only we shared. I do love you and I probably will for a long time to come no matter how badly I may want to one day just let go. I’m beginning to doubt if it was all just you seeing how many guys would chase you around until you made them too dizzy to keep up with the madness. Now after all this time you get to make a decision. One choice in each palm of your hand. The guy that you’ve so unfairly lead on for multiple weeks that, because of the love we share, felt like months; or the guy that you’ve been friends with for a couple years that wanted nothing to do with you until just recently. Which choice will you crush in your hand and squeeze all the hopes and dreams out of? It’s your choice and if you screw up all you’ll be able to do is regret. Who’s it going to be? Who will you push aside? Who will be left alone crying, wondering where they went wrong? Good luck.
Why’d You Go?
November 4, 2017