To the boy in the grade above me who killed himself tonight,
I’m sorry. We could’ve been close and we weren’t, there is no reason we weren’t but I wish there were. I’m sorry for the pain you felt before and during and all the time no one noticed. Hopefully now will be better, pain free. The silence you left in your absence will be noticed and the impact has been greatly intense in a matter of hours. The things said after the loss do not matter, but the space where friendships and worthiness should have been present can be regretted and the outcomes will not be different either way. Your future has been put to a halt and everyone else’s will be different. Graduation will be one boy short, and the love of your life will have to search a little deeper, your parents will love your sister harder, and your sister will cry more often. The friends you had will be lonelier and the friends you should’ve made will be bored in the times that were created to be spent with you. Time will still go on but the days will seem longer for a while. People noticed. Your absence has been marked, you are missed.
To the friend of my best friend who killed himself two months ago,
I did not know you, but I saw you on her story. I’ve heard stories of you and I’ve seen smiles that were your creation. After you died, there was an earthquake of emotion. Hesitation of panic, confusion before reaction, strong things crumbled and the aftershock was just as bad. Although we were not friends, I still cried. She cried, and she is my world. The girl I am lucky enough to call my best friend is made of stone; although she is solid she still breaks. The earthquake sized catastrophe your death made caused a beautiful stone to shatter. Knowing the density of her stone and the pieces that are still being picked up, your earthquake was off the charts and no casualties were spared. Stones have shattered, my best friend included. She sure did love you a lot. Your short existence did matter, and you haven’t gone unnoticed. Relief has been sent, and reconstruction has started.
To people who are sad,
You have a voice that needs to be heard, yes actions speak louder than words. Death yells through silence and pierces hearts of the living. Breathing isn’t the same when someone you knew doesn’t get to anymore. Life is more than you see and everything is temporary. Everything is what you make of it and even though sometimes things are out of your control it doesn’t mean you are worthless. Yes things seem pointless and overwhelming sometimes but happiness comes when you least expect it. Not everything is easy, including the urge to keep breathing, but small things add up. The pain you feel is not what you asked for, the pain people will feel when you’re gone is not what they are asking for either.