I felt the negative energy before even going to school. I felt it. Wearing my black jumpsuit with my red hijab, that I never wore ever again. I guess it just reminds me of that dreadful day. Of being unwelcomed. After hearing “ the tiny terrorist, is going to blow up my house” from the people I once called friends. Caused me to blow up in tears. boom, with all those tears came thoughts. ones that just made me feel distressed and heart broken. I wandered lonely as a cloud that day. I was destroyed, as if I was a city and those brassy words were the tsunami that destroyed me. I've never realized the amount of damage some words cause. All day long I kept on hearing the words again and again. As if there were demons screaming these awful thoughts in my head. I started to crumble and wasn't sure how much more I could take. I turned up to the sky, and it turned dreary as the gloom clouds enveloped it. I wanted to escape that place, escape the thoughts I had, they just kept me thinking. Does everyone think of me like that? Or was it just those ignorant kids I have heard? I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. As for my feeling of being unwelcomed, it has stuck with me, it'll never go.
October 30, 2017