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October 23, 2017
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My mind is clear, the only voice in my head is the sound of the tree swaying, and the wind rushing past my body. I could feel the pain gone, and my heart beat decreasing. I am calm, and ready to live this new life.


It seems like everything around me is falling out of place, it’s going too fast, and my mind is out of control. I think of these thoughts as I lay on my new bed, in this new house, wondering how the course of my life changed, my friends, my environment, and most importantly my love ones. I often say to myself “I didn’t want to come here, but they just had to bring me!” Thinking back I wonder how my father felt as he come home from work, all alone, with nobody to next to him. Knowing this would happen for the time being in China. Every time that thought comes across my mind, I feels as if I’m carrying a ton boulder around my body, weighing me down with guilt. The thought stayed as I closed my eyes, picturing my old room with the light blue walls again, and the vacation pictures of me and my parents in Disneyland. Across from the room stands my closet, with clothing inside that can last a lifetime. My emotions ran deep, sadness raged through my body with regrets and sadness. I opened my eyes, finding this new place in Cupertino, the old two story wooden house that is covered with the mixture of blue and white. When I was told we would be moving to America, I was silenced from the decision, silenced, shut down by my parent’s voice.
       

Before my mother and father moved, Beijing was going just fine. I just started elementary school with all my friends from my kindergarten at Sunny Valley. On the weekends, my father always helped me with sporting events and my mom would suggest different movie to watch. Things ran smoothly until I started hearing my mother tell my father that she wanted to move to America due to the toxic air in China. These discussions would be held late at night, and because my bedroom was next to theirs, I could listen to mostly everything they talked about. My heart sank as the sleepless nights proceeded, and the decisions grew more and more grim. After two long months, I could drastically see a change in how my parents acted and one day my mother told me that we would be moving to America. It was so sudden and out of nowhere, I didn’t know what to say. I thought to myself, “I never have a say in what is happening, the things I say doesn’t matter.” A month later, I was almost calm with the decision until she also told me that my father would be staying in China. My heart “stopped”, and I became very confused. I tried to think of what to say, but every word I knew and learned was gone. “He’s staying here? Why? What’s happening?” I finally said them after I took hold of reality and my emotions. My dad wanted to continue being the CEO of his small company, so he can obtain enough experience to find a job in America. After the situation was explained, I accepted what my mom commended, and thought about what was going to happen.


       

As each day passed, I grew more anxious about what was going to happen, finally realizing that I’m actually leaving my friends and family behind. On the tenth of October 2015, I found out that it would be my last day attending Beida Fuxiao Elementary school. When I tried to tell my friends that I was leaving, they did not believe me. It wasn’t until the English with Ms. Kong that I came in late with a transfer form for the teacher to sign. I was overwhelmed with sadness as I saw all my closest friends sitting down in their desks, watching as I take my last steps in the room. As I begin to leave, my friends waved me goodbye. While this happens my tears broken free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. This makes me realize I’m leaving my closest friends that took me so long to gain. The day went on as I leave the school thinking “I did it the right way”. After I got into my dad's car, he told me how he felt about everything that was going on. He told me to love my family, don’t be afraid, and always be positive.
       

On the thirteenth of October, my mother woke me up in the morning to prepare for leaving China. We headed for the teen hour flight with hopes of happiness in America. We took off just like that with our belongings in the airplane and left while my father was still at work. I fell asleep during the long flight and when I awoke from the plane, I heard my mother say with an uncertain fear, “Here we are; time to start our new life.”
       

This place I now lived is absolutely amazing. Even if I wasn’t ready to accept my new life, I am happy with the fact that I still got my mom and my family. My new school is gigantic, with four, two story buildings on top of a steep hill. I personally thought it looked like an insane asylum with a metal fence surrounding the perimeter.  When I saw my school I was speechless, I could only think of how much the structures costs. When I stepped into the new school my mind is clear, the only voice I heard in my head is the sound of the tree swaying, and the wind rushing past my body. I could feel the pain gone, and my heart beat decreasing. I am calm, and ready to live this new life.






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