The Beginning of an End To Start a New Beginning

October 19, 2017
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December  1st, 2010, my life changed forever. I was 10 years old at the time and I’m currently 17 but still I remember that same Tuesday morning as if it was yesterday to its tiniest details. I woke up that school day around 7:00 a.m. as I would every day before walking to school. As I woke out of my sleep and set my bathroom as my first destination of the morning I noticed some of my cousins lounging in my mother’s room which was unusual since they would usually be at school. So I joked with them for a couple seconds after using the bathroom then I went downstairs to find my mother. Once I walked down my stairs I didn’t see my mom but I seen many more relatives and started to wonder why was my house full of family at 7 a.m. on a weekday. I proceeded back to my room to get dress to start walking to school and I made sure I had my trumpet ready for school that day since I had band practice. Minutes later my mother and a close friend of hers came in my room and it was strange that even my mother along with everyone else in my home was wearing black attires.

    

She walked in and told me good morning in a casual fashion while her friend stood along side of the door. She sat next to me on my bed and started talking to me religiously on how God does things for a reason. I understood what she was saying but I was confused on what it had to do with anything that morning… at least until she ended up telling me something I never wanted to imagine. She took a pause before telling me this news but once she had the courage to say it she said “ Well last night God took Daryl.” When my mother said those same exact words, I felt as if my soul was no longer in this world.
      

All I could say to her was “what?” before tears of pain and anger flooded my eyes. I always was told I have anger issues since I was In first grade, but this kind of anger I felt wasn’t natural it made me feel as if I could fight the whole world on my own. All I could asked God was “why?, why did he have to take him, why him of all people doing wrong in the world and way worse then him?” It hurt me so bad to my heart to know my one and only blood brother is no longer living in reality. But like my mother said, God does everything for a reason which will always be true.
  

Daryl Aaron Jr. born July 19th, 1991. He was my mother’s first born child, we have different fathers, both of our fathers went back and forth from jail, then 9 years later me and my twin sister were born February 16th, 2000. It was always us four: my mom, Daryl, me, and my twin sister JaNaya. I was the middle child. Being a single mother living in the hood in North Side of Wilmington Delaware didn’t look to bad from how my mother managed to raise us. We still had our struggles like any other family in Wilmington but my mother always made a way for us to have what we needed. My father wasn’t around that much when I was a kid but I had 3 uncles and 2 grandfathers that always were father figures in my eyes but growing up in a household with 2 females and 1 male, my big brother gave me enough knowledge to be a man even though he only lived to see 19 years of age, and for being the person he was I always admired him as my father. I now have a stronger relationship physically and socially with my biological father.
      

My brother was smart and a beautiful person at heart but he became associated with the street life way too early before it was too late. One thing I know is he wasn’t afraid to die because he knew of the lifestyle he lived, and before he died he already knew his time on Earth was coming to an end before the end of 2010. I guess you can say that was God calling him to come home. His week of death was so heart breaking to the whole city. He touched so many lives no matter how deep he was into the streets. There was always a millions way to get something and he made sure that everybody he knew had whatever they needed no matter what it was. That’s just the kind of person he was and I believe he gets that from our mother, she’s very outgoing and will give anyone her last just so that they don’t have to live without anything. Even when my brother died it still felt as if he was still living amongst the streets of Wilmington, as if his spirit could still be felt. His funeral was so emotional all around it really felt as if I died with him I really couldn’t believe that my one and only brother was no longer going to be able to grow with me and that was really painful because I prayed and imagined for better days for all four of us.
        I later learned shortly after his death that, within the same hospital my brother died in, just one floor above him his son was being born only three hours after my brother was deceased. That just gives you a little thought of how crazy life can be. You take one away and get another right back in return. It feels like it’ll be a lot harder on my nephew once he’s older to cope with not being able to ever know his father but until my time on this Earth is over I will make sure that my nephew knows everything in my memory about his father. About a month after my brother’s death he came to visit me in a dream one night which I will never forget. He was wearing all white and we stood in a all white room. I should have tried to hug him and I remain angry and confused on why I didn’t but he told me this “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I’m up here with mom-mom and pop-pop (my great grandparents) and G-Money (my brothers cousin on his father's side) I can’t wait for all of you to get here.” When he came to me in my sleep to speak to me I felt so much better spiritually that I was okay with him not being here because I knew he was living better than he did when he was on Earth but I’m even happier he left us with a son of his own which still makes it feel as if he is still living amongst us, and for that I thank him.
                                              
 






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