Broken

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I was born in Hawaii and grew up with my mom and dad. Once I was three, we moved all the way to Palm Desert, California. I cried every night.  I started packing my bags even though I didn’t want to, when I was packing up I noticed that my parents were arguing about something, but I didn’t know what they were arguing about.  After I was done packing I went to bed.  As my dad woke me up at about 6:00 in the morning,
I whined, “Do we have to go?”


In a firm voice my dad shouted like he was mad, “YES!”


When we had arrived at the airport I saw my parents going separate ways, walking away from each other with infuriated faces.  I didn’t know what to do, should I go with my mom or my dad. Little did I know I didn't have a decision as my dad pulled me with him to the car. When we got in the car,


I asked, “Where’s mom going, where are you taking me?”


He burst into tears, “I hate your mom that´s why we divorced, it's too complicated for you to understand!” 
All day I wondered what divorce meant?  He finally told me the next day in a calm voice, “Your mom is a bad person, a divorce is a thing where us your parents do not want to be together with each other anymore.   I would think about it every night.  If you think about in the time almost everybody else in the world had a mom except me, just me.  Wondering why they don’t love each other anymore, was it just because of the them arguing, I should have listened to the argument. Was I about to go crazy over thinking all of this?


My mom wouldn’t call for months, it made me really depressed. She finally called me the next year. I hear my dad's phone ringing so I run out to see who it is, then the name ¨Kim¨ flashes across the screen.


She asked me, “ Do you want to get together?”
And I cried in joy,” Yes, YESSSSSSS.”
When we got to the restaurant I waited at the place that she told me to.  I was waiting for an explanation, I was wondering if my mom was lying or not.  My dad and I were waiting and an hour passed by.


My dad whined, “She’s not going to show up Trysten.”
She called me the next day to apologize and this time I was done.


“I don't want to be together with you anymore you have hurt me enough I shouted. You have done enough to me already, first of all you burned me with an iron, then you drop a boat motor on my foot, and the worst part of all you have broke my heart.“ I ended the call.  I didn’t know what to do then should I tell my dad or just go to bed and forget about it all.


This has hurt my feelings a lot and it's just really hard for me and my dad because nobody can watch me, I also just really miss my mom I have no idea where she lives and I guess she has 5 kids that are my half-brothers.  She has called my recently, but that is the first time she had done it in years.  I have learned now that my mom doesn’t want to be with me anymore, so eventually I got over it, but sometimes it just bothers me that she is not around.  Sometimes I cry just because I miss her, but that is normal if you are missing a mom.






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