This isn’t a life story, it’s just a story of the life I’ve lived so far maybe put down on paper to help someone with a struggle. So, as a kid I’d never really understood the concept of “raise your hand,” or “exactly follow directions.” I’ve always had my own way of understanding things, and I’ve always needed to figure things out for myself. I could be told 1,000 times to not touch a flame, but I would still do it until I realize why I shouldn’t.
Honestly, making friends wasn’t the easiest. As a kid I’ve always had a hard time talking to people. It was hard understanding social cues, I was that one kid who was only invited to birthday parties once, and had been picked on yet totally oblivious. As a kid I was always getting in trouble, I still do to this day but I still can’t figure out why,. It’s just so difficult to understand and my parents gave up explaining things to me now it just feels like whenever I screw up or they have a bad day at work they come home just to find something to yell at me for. My dad tries to help but he can’t really stop my mom from saying what she says. My childhood was rough and I grew up not having many friends and super insecure and any kind of presentation in school actually makes me sick the night before.
Middle school was different, people cared less and life got easier… sort of. Everyone was beginning to figure out their lives for themselves and people were more understanding of the people around them, and I had also wondered who I wanted to be. I’ve already been screamed by my parents endlessly so now they won’t even explain, and I’ve been made fun of by my “friends” and used by them for homework in every class. That made me start to wonder how everyone saw me and after a while my insecurity took over… Which never really worked out well.
I love hockey, it’s one of my true passions. In the past I’ve made many friends, fake or real, I’ve known both so to me it’s just a part of life now I guess. I didn’t really care who I spoke to then because that was my life, life was simpler and hockey gave me something to look forward everyday because I love the cold, and the ice, and the feeling of being a part of something. Although, in the spring my dad forced me to play lacrosse and no one liked me there either, I was always all about making people proud of me, or not getting yelled at for not listening, or maybe it was both.
Frankly, now I could care less about what people think of me or what decisions I make. My parents have always had this crazy idea of having a “perfect child” or something like that, I guess they think I’m just some washed up mistak. I’m still here getting yelled at and punished for everything I do because my parents think I’m not perfect yet and I’m starting to grow more independent and starting to think for myself. Parents can claim their credibility through their age and experience and I think they’ve just been hardened to keep their emotions inside. It seems hard for adults these days to listen and understand, they just go on instinct and I get it because they’re parents and they want to protect us. But you can’t protect your kids from the world all their lives you’ve gotta start actually helping your children somewhere along the lines.
This last piece will be partially my opinion but also thought out through experience of being a kid dealing with parents and friends who avoid you and act like you’re worthless. In their heads we are kids and they are adults. I think these so called “wise” parents need to start opening their eyes to the world and a parent’s child may not have to be like them. These people shouldn’t be blamed and neglected for everything they do, they should be guided through their mistakes to make their short time on this planet a good experience. I wanna finish this by saying, you can’t chose the life you’re given, parents who raise you, or maybe even the friends who don’t acknowledge you, but you can take a step back and look at yourself and you’ll realize that everything you need is yourself, and whoever decides to be a true friend can be a part of it. If someone doesn’t like you for being you, don’t change, you won’t need them.