In this essay,  I am going to write about my first experience with the death of a close friend or family member. My first experience was when I lost my baby sister, Aubrey Isabella and to an extent, my mother. Through this experience, I have learned that it isn’t really easy losing a family member. The cause of my sister’s death was because she wasn’t growing or developing correctly in my mother’s ovaries due to her having PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and it’s been hard for her to get pregnant. As a result, my mother’s relationship with our family has gone away.

A year or two after my mother had a miscarriage with Aubrey, my parents temporarily split up and my dad had found a girlfriend and she had gotten pregnant with my other baby sister, Lillian Rose, and my dad’s girlfriend at that time had miscarried and I was never told the reason why. I was never able to meet or get to know my baby sisters at all. After that experience of losing TWO baby sisters, it’s been hard on me everytime there birthdays roll around because I would have loved to have baby sisters to hang and play around with. I always imagined taking them to a park on a sunny under a blue sky. I always wanted to take them a pool with crisp blue water and green grass.

After the miscarriage with my other baby sister, Lillian Rose, my dad and his girlfriend had split up and my mother and father got back together and got remarried. After they got remarried, we were all a big happy family until November 2016, when our family started to fall apart. My mom left my father and it all went downhill from there. After my parents split for good, my mom moved 3 and a half  hours away to Kingston, NY. She never comes to see me. Since she has moved, it’s been making me upset because she hasn’t came to see me and since she has left, I have only seen her twice and that was at funerals for my grandma and uncle and I refuse to go to her apartment. Her boyfriend Nathaniel, he does drugs and that is definitely something that I don’t want to be around and her boyfriend creeps me out because he has ONE eye. If we were to be together, things would be different because our family use to be so happy and now that my mother is gone, my father and I have been acting different and it sucks that my mother chooses her boyfriend over her own daughter. It makes me upset that I didn’t really mean anything to her.

In conclusion, I haven’t really felt the same than I did 8 years ago. 8 years ago, I was so happy and after the miscarriage with Aubrey, our family hasn’t been the same. My advice is to keep your head up and stay strong.