Jealousy

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Why is jealousy a thing? I feel like it is something that everyone carries with them. There is no real way to describe the physical factor of it because there’s no such thing. However, everyone can relate to it. Every single person you have come in contact with has had this terrible feeling before. Whether they like it or not, it can bring our minds to places we really don’t want to be. If I had to think of a physical color for jealousy, I would think of it as more of a brown or a dark red because it’s such an evil feeling. If I could choose not to carry it around, I wouldn’t. It’s one of my least favorite things in this world and I would choose to drop it in a second. However, that just isn’t possible. As long as our minds keep on roaming to different things, jealousy will always stay with us. Whether we’re jealous of a person or an object or a memory, everybody experiences it differently-but never in my life have I ever met someone who has enjoyed this dark feeling before.

       

I always wished I had more. I am always jealous of other people’s things: cars, houses, money, you name it. I was ashamed of it until I realized that everyone is like this-whether they admit it or not. Jealousy has seeped through my better mind more than once, and I don’t think it will stop happening any time soon. My jealousy usually always has to do with other people. I have longed for certain people to be in my life before, and it always turns into jealousy. I always do this because I wish they were with me, not them. Not just as more than friends but also as company to have throughout my life. Jealousy and love really seem to fit together well. Have you ever been in love? I don’t think I have. I cannot tell. It seems nowadays love is just a four letter word that people throw around as they please. Does it really mean anything anymore? Does life even matter anymore? Why is it so easy to fall in love with someone? Why is it so hard to make yourself love a person? Why is it so difficult to tell someone you don’t love them like they love you? Sorry. My mind is wandering. Jealousy just overcame my thoughts once again.

       

One time I felt so much for this one kid. I swore I couldn’t get over him if he walked up to me and told me I’d never have a chance. I didn’t chase him as much as I wanted to, but I did it enough that I would go to crazy heights just to get him to notice or talk to me. Have you ever felt that way for someone? Some people just make you feel that way-you make it your duty to make sure you two end up together. However, life had a different plan. I got jealous very easily for this one. Every minute a different scenario was running through my head about what he could’ve been doing or who he was with. But eventually I realized it wasn’t worth it. Was that what one-sided love felt like? Was I in love with him? You know, that feeling where you want to be with someone every day and you wanted to do everything with them. But my mind was wandering to jealousy again, and I had to snap myself out of it. Finally I realized this kid wasn’t worth everything. Not my life, or all my thoughts, or my jealousy. I still care for this guy, don’t get me wrong. It just pains me to think that some people don’t realize how much someone can be in love with them.

       

Jealousy doesn’t only exist between people. It can also be an item. I know my friends have come to me plenty of times telling me how much they wished they had something. I had one friend who constantly told me how much more she wanted to own in life. Every time I saw her she would tell me something new she had seen and wanted to own. Whenever she saw it, she’d get insanely jealous of whoever had it and would proceed to tell me how she wishes she had money to afford it. I’ve met many people like that-never satisfied, always wanting more and spreading negativity to everyone around them. I would always wonder why people weren’t content with what they had. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I am the same way. Every single person wants more in their life; is anyone actually 100% content with everything they have? Wanting an object in life causes jealousy for the people around that have it. Fame is another big thing-everybody wants to be famous at some point in their life. Whether it’s through the internet, movies, or anything in between.

       

There isn’t a certain place where jealousy occurs. It happens everywhere. It could happen at any time. That’s what’s so scary about feelings-they can overcome our thoughts wherever we are. For me, it usually happens if I see something I wish I hadn’t, or I see something I wish I had. However, love happens forever. Does your love for someone ever truly die? Whether it be as a caring friend or a person you want to spend your life with-it happens everywhere you go. It can never stop as easily as happiness or sadness can, because love is one of the most powerful feelings in the world. Besides jealousy, of course.






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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Debi said...
Oct. 16 at 9:10 pm
Great article - very honest and mature.
 
Army said...
Oct. 16 at 4:04 pm
Wow! Nice job!
 
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