Dear Past Self,
And then it happens, you appear right back where you left off longing for a return to where you were. Unfortunately, you aren’t there and you never will be, or maybe at least not for some time. Luckily, you can go back and relive those highlights that you are missing. Memories are those highlights that I always carry with me and they seem to manifest themselves in different ways. Whether they take the shape of old photographs from a dim cavern entrenched deep inside the lush rainforest in Belize. Whether they take the shape of actions being replayed in your mind while day dreaming during a monotonous lecture. Even the crashing and then slowly receding bubbly waves on a beach on the California coast, the shrieking of the seagulls and cries of the seals, each sound and sight permanently etched in your brain. These memories can’t help but make anyone feel nostalgic about any given time at any given moment.
There is one moment that seems to stand out for me as far as memories go. You might know this moment as you are living it but it’s about when you went to Cooperstown. So, after the grueling drive we had made it. I made a B line out of the dirt covered car while I still had a seatbelt mark across my face. Lake Otsego in Cooperstown, New York, the trip I had been waiting a lifetime for. It was a stereotypical fall: the crisp 50 degree weather, the falling leaves, and the occasional pumpkin sighting. I was at the front entrance of the beautifully designed Otesaga Resort Hotel. Many famous baseball players had stayed in the classic hotel, those from Goose Gossage to Ken Griffey Jr. I trotted out towards the stone fire pit on the edge of the lake and roasted what I believed to be the most perfect golden brown s'mores that could ever be made. The beautifully colored and changing leaves outlined the large light blue lake. It was a great area and I should’ve been thrilled.
Now, before I continue let me tell you about someone you may know but might not realize it. He is naive, too oblivious to notice how important some moments would be to him. He has short blonde hair gelled up like a porcupine and a black and orange scratchy flannel shirt. He pays no attention to physical appearance because he simply has no time to concern himself with such things. He is not quick to trust unfamiliar surrounding. He only knows the solidarity of his own home, he goes out of his comfort zone a lot and it definitely makes him feel uncomfortable. He longs to sit in the slightly ripped chair in from of his dusty old TV. Just wishing to be listening to the sounds of gunshots or swishing while tucked away in his his small oasis with the blinds cracked and the lights dimmed.That boy is you. You didn’t realize how important that time was because all you cared about was video games and TV. You didn’t deserve to be in that place because you didn’t appreciate in. Now, all you have is the memories of that place, and I think that you should have lived in the moment and appreciated where you were. Looking back on that moment now, there isn’t any place that I would rather be at more than there.
But, there is some good that came from all of this. This memory and many more taught me to live in the moment and go out of my comfort zone. Memories are a good thing and a bad thing and they make you realize what you missed out on and what you didn’t miss out on. Without this I would be no where, well maybe in my room, but I wouldn’t be nearly as well rounded of a person as I am today. Now I go anywhere from the tallest building in Canada overlooking the beautiful skyline at sunset of downtown Toronto to the expanding wilderness and fresh pine smell of Utah’s national parks. You can do anything and go anywhere through the memories you carry with you.