Time is time. It will not slow down for anything nor anyone. It is constantly moving and constantly changing. It may seem like it is going by fast, or it may seem like it is going by slow, but actually it is not doing either. Time is whatever you make it, you can make it good, or make it bad. I would suggest making it good, because once that time has gone by, it is not coming back. On October 6, 2015, it felt like the time in my life had just stopped when I heard the words, “brain tumor”. I did not know if I had anytime left.
On that Tuesday, I had experienced the single most scariest day in my entire life. I had never had a surgery let alone a brain surgery. Surgery took hours, which felt like days, and those days began to feel like weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. It felt as if time could not go any slower. All we wanted was for it to go faster. My mom, who I could never express how grateful I am for, instantly put a smile on my face the minute I saw her after the surgery. I saw her in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, which was filled with screaming kids, constantly beeping heart monitors, and the loud sliding then slamming of the transparent glass door. Routine hour check up were a thing that kept us both wide awake no matter what time the clock had read. I wanted to get out of there; I just wanted to go home.
Finally, I am back in a actual hospital room. It is filled with bright colors that would suit for a little boy or girl, three windows in a perfect line right across the side all, and underneath was light wooden bench with a royal blue plus cushion underneath it, which is the place my dad slept, then you have a huge flat screen television that my family and I could not have enjoyed more, and right above it was a clock with the usual black that reminded you of the night and red that was as dark as blood hands, but since it was a pediatric wing, a picture of Mickey in his red, white, and yellow outfit, with all of his friends from Disney located right in the center. The actual hospital equipment was so large and so boring. My parents always had big smiles on their faces, even when you knew they were holding in so much more.
Neither of them had slept in days, but they still stayed so much more positive than anybody could have ever imagined. My mom never left my side. She laid next to me every single night, when I had to sit up or walk around she was right there holding my hand every step of the way. The bags under her eyes so big I thought if she closed her eyes for even just a millisecond then she would be sleeping like a baby for hours and the sweatpants, they were her favorite pair too. They were grey with some black shading in them, going up and down vertically towards ankle on her right leg read the word PINK, which were outlined in black and filled in with a solid white that was as pure as snow. She got those sweatpants from PINK, which is one of her and I’s favorite store, and they are my favorite pair that she owns making it even more of a happier time. All of that showed me how much she cared for me, how much she loved me, and showed me that she would always be there for me no matter what. My dad, he is a trooper just as much as my mom was; he took all the information and talked to the doctors, so my mom would not have to and could stay with me. He always had on shorts though, which was kind of ironic because it was the beginning of October. Sometimes he wore the plain, old, and boring khakis that do go with everything, or he wore his favorite shorts. His favorite were this charcoal grey, with standard front and back pockets, but also looked extremely comfortable, which must have been the case, because he wears them all the time. All of that time that we spent together was so valuable to me, because it may have been a super hard and scary time in our lives, but we were together and forgot about all of the problems in the world and just were happy.
Home sweet home. I had never been so happy to be home. I glanced at the electronic clock located on my stainless steel, black top, and gas burning stove. The bright green and lit up numbers had read just after ten o’clock in the morning. The day had just began and it felt like it was almost over. Eventually though, I realized I have a full day at home and nowhere to go, so why don't I get some stuff done and make the best of it; however, I really could not do a whole lot yet. Over these next two weeks I am on what I like to call, “house arrest”. I could not go anywhere, nor could I do anything. Even though this time felt like the slowest two weeks of my entire life, it felt like some of the best. I realized how many people I have in my life that care for me, and I realized that I was very well loved. There was a period time during all of this that I did become depressed; I felt like I was not going to be able to do the things I love and do things for the people that I love. I got out of that though, by the help of everybody around me and them just being there for me. My friends, oh how I wish that I could put in words how much they helped me get through all of this. They came over everyday. My mom would say to me every morning,
“You might want to go and do your hair, because we have some people come over today and we have some more people coming over after them.”
It made me happy whenever I got to spend time with them since I was not going to school and did not get to see them as much anymore.
Time is what you make it. It does not slow down or speed up for anybody, nor will it ever do that for anybody. So, make it last while you can, because once it is gone, it is not coming back. You never want to hear something that will change your life forever and will make you regret spending your time the way that you spent it. Everyday now, I carry the feeling that this moment in time will be what I choose to make it, not my parents, grandparents, not anybody, me and only me. I will never forget the day that I began to carry the idea of how valuable time is with me.