Sometimes I think I'm living the hardest life in the world, but in reality, I'm living is a life that's just as hard or even harder than me. No one knows this not even the most important people to me. I HATE MYSELF! People might think I don't or that I'm just doing it for attention since I act confident and pretend to love myself. I hate myself not because of the way I look, but the way I am. I'm too nice to people, to kind, too loving to everything. I know people don't deserve me in their lives they don't deserve my kind, loving self. You see but that's the thing people use me to their advantage. I feel used disrespected in a way that is making me hate myself. Gosh, I hate it. Sometimes I tell myself ‘gosh you are useless, you're someone that should hate themselves. All this has to lead me to think that no one will ever care about me the way I want them to. I know one day I'll find that person, I found him once, and I lost him, but hoping can help me for now. I'm done trying to please and make everyone happy, from this day on forward the only person that matters to me is myself. My parents will say they understand how I feel, but really they will never understand. I am the only person I need to make proud, happy and love. I will get through this on my own, I will try my hardest. For now, I am done with everyone it's my turn to shine. Old self you will not be missed.
Life's Hard Man
October 9, 2017