I used to write a lot. It added extra pain so I stopped. I won't continue writing, but just for a moment, try to relate. This is pointless, because they won't even end up reading this. So this is not at all about the specific person that you all would think it's about. In fact, it's not only about one person either. Truth is, I miss you. Not even the cheesy "let's hold hands and have a happily ever after" miss you. I miss your guys' presence in my life. I miss you guys always being there for me. It's not even that I miss you guys, it's as if you are missing from me. But do I even cross your head? Or do you still feel the hate for me? This is particularly my fault. I made stupid decisions, stupid mistakes to constantly hurt these two people. I caused them pain from my pain and made them drift away. I was selfish, and I am so so sorry. I overlooked your guy's happiness in attempt to make myself happen. I didn't realize my happiness lied in seeing you guys happy. I don't know how this turned from a missing you to a sorry. But I am most sorry to you two and I should've apologized long ago, before I lost you. I don't know how I'm saying sorry because for one of you, I hurt you so much the word sorry is neevr going to be enough. How can I ask you to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself? This is me swallowing my pride and saying sorry for hurting you so much to make you hate me. Just know I never intentionally wanted to cause you two any pain. I don't think it will ever be the same, but I deserve it. I'm so so sorry for stuff I said and did when I was hurt. I've hurt myself from hurting you.
October 7, 2017