Anxiety

By , fort worth, TX

"Knowing there's no way out." It whispered, "It's okay, it's okay." "Don't be fooled." "Weak" "You're all alone, alone."-"no, no, no, yes, NO!" I blurted out loud, my classmates quickly spinning their heads; focus now on me. "Katelynn?" I froze, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, my heart banged in the cage of my chest. Faces flashing past as I whirl my head around trying to regain focus, my body unwinding and my muscles screaming.  "Are you okay?" Muffled over and over again, my chest heaving.


'No, I'm clearly not okay.' I thought sharply; a sense of utter confusion and slithering humiliation caved in the room, overtaking my surroundings. Hushed voices like wildfires and eyes filled with heating gossip. "You did it again." I spat, with my ears and nose a hot pink I unbundled myself from the floor and carefully sat back down in my seat. Even though I knew what had occurred I still questioned myself as to why it did.


My mind boggled with misunderstanding my teacher approached me and placed their hand on my shoulder and looked at me with concerned eyes. "I'm fine." I persuaded, disbelief written all over their face. I looked down at my thumbs and twiddled them, waiting for death to succumb my numb body. Every second sitting there with murmured conversations around me felt eternal. My leg began to shake like revving the engine of a motorcycle to Anxiety Town.


I felt like a fever and that Niagra falls were in the palms of my hands. I bit my bottom lip trying to ground myself, 'Not again.' I pleaded. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes had passes and I was still pivoting in my seat urging to scream and to flee the room. "5 minutes left" the teacher exclaimed, my Anxiety going from 50-1,000 in a blink. Waiting for freedom to come my mind wandered, "Tick-tock, tick-tock." It taunted, "Stop it." I barked, attention back on me once more. I gave up, letting my head fall forward as the bell chimed.






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