Grief and Death (A Narrative by A Depressed Sophomore)

By , Fort Worth, TX

I awoke in a cold sweat. The dream, that familiar dream occurred again and again. No, it was more like a nightmare. "So, this is what it feels like," I thought to myself. "To slowly slip into insanity." My breathing was ragged now. The walls of my room were closing in, the darkest corners spreading like an abyss. I couldn't live like this anymore. I had to find a way to stop the madness.


"The source of a recurring nightmare may be a traumatic event," read the article from Science Daily. I sat there motionless. The words on my computer screen danced around in my head like that of a malevolent flame, but instead of a feeling of warmth, an icy cold dread swelled inside me. I immediately understood what the issue was, what had bothered and ate away at my psyche. I had been scarred recently, but not in the way one typically imagined a scar. No, it was my mind that was a scarred mess. The death of my beloved brother had left me in shambles, and honestly, at the time I didn't think I could recover. Back then, I couldn't have been more certain that I would never escape from that abyss.


However, nothing is set in stone it seems. Over the course of a month, the love and support I received from friends and family mended me. Yes, the scar on my mind was still there, but the wound wasn't as fresh, and the sting had subsided. The nightmares still came of course, but I was slowly becoming numb to the sensation of fear, and numb to the fear of my own insanity. My grief was fading, being erased, possibly even destroyed. I had become stronger, and on one night I had the strength to close my eyes without fear.


Incidentally, I rose the next morning feeling refreshed. No sweat, no darkness, and most certainly, no fear. I would say it was a miracle, but I knew better. This was my own doing, or rather, the combined efforts of those I cherished. So, the moral of the story could be this: Yes, death is painful. It may be scary, and a lot of the time, it causes grief. But just like any scar, or scrape, or scratch, it'll eventually heal. Especially with the aid from others.






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