I stood there , frozen , afraid , and lost. I didn’t know what to do , it felt as if I were almost in a dream. All the attention was on me.
“Let’s go, Elaine!!” he yells as I continue to do, the basic two step.
I think to myself, ”Step out.” as I carry the burden on my right leg , following along with my left leg , I step out. The circle of people looking at the center of attention , along with the hypes. My worst enemy, cyphers circles.
People always told me stuff like,”let your feet take you,” or, “Don’t think too much.” How can I let my feet guide me if my feet are lost with , my mind. Silly self, you didn’t have to catch feelings so fast.
It all began on my freshman year , me and my best friend joined a dance group. At first I wanted to be the best , I told myself I would put in my all into dancing but , that planned changed quickly.
On the first day of practice I went to practice and we were introducing ourselves.
I introduced myself in a loud confident voice,“My name is Elaine and I’m a freshman.” All the attention was put onto me because of my voice but I didn’t care at the time because, I wasn’t afraid.
After we introduced ourselves we danced in a cypher circle and I got picked to go in. when I first stepped in, I wasn’t aware of the fact that I was scared until I was at the center , I was so lost because I didn’t know what to do or , how to dance. After I moved a little I stepped out and picked my best friend to go in.
“I don’t know what to do!!” she panicked.
“You got this!” I told her. When she stepped out , he was the next to go and I fell for him on the spot.
A couple weeks after that me and a couple friends went to go eat out and surprisingly enough he was also a friend of my friends so he was there too. After that eat out he and I became closer and I thought we were gonna get somewhere but turns out I was wrong. One of my friends that knew him told me that he and this girl liked each other and , to be honest I was hurt.
A couple days later after I found out he also found out about how I felt. Later that day he came up to me after dance practice to confront me.
“Hey Elaine.” He said.
“Hey!” I replied. ”Did you need something?”
“Is it true?”
“Your feelings for me.”
I informed , “It’s true but you don’t have to think too much about it I’ll get over it.”
“I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I just hope you do get over it.” He advised with a smile on his face. I smiled back at him and after that we just talked for a couple more minutes until my mom came and picked me up to go home. When I got home I’ll admit that I was sad that he didn’t feel the same way but at the same time I felt like I got a lot of stuff off my chest.
Although I didn’t cry I did become insecure because of my one sided love. I let it interfere with my dancing because I was always worried about how I looked in other people's eyes or, in his eyes but , after a couple weeks my feelings for him started to slip away and so did my insecurities.
One thing I learned from this is to not think ahead and just stay in the moment. Another lesson is to not let anyone, not even yourself, stop you from doing what you love and want to do.