What Are You Talking About?

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Your body cannot get tired of talking, you can talk till the day you die without a limit. Yet the purpose of talking is to inform people and get a reaction from them. Most times you try to please them with your stories or your personality, other times you are trying to persuade them. It’s quite easy right, wrong. For most people it may be easy being an extravert and having a lot of confidence. Then there are people like me, I’m very socially awkward so depending on the person, I try to impress them by thinking of something that they want to hear, which will result of silence and a lot of stammering. I tend to have anxiety over the fact that I will have to talk to someone everyday so that I can maintain a relationship but what if I say the wrong thing of hurt them. Often times they have other friends so that makes me feel lonely when they don’t even notice that I’m there so then I give a quick smile and walk away. I’m not actually a shy person, I want people to come up and start a conversation with me, it’s  just my insecurities that pick my brain apart. I find my personality weird but in a good way because I’m different from other people, I dress differently and my opinions to most things are also different than what other people say or think. I’m very liberal and stubborn to my principles and will actually go and protest something that I fight for, not just with words. I hope that people find me interesting because I sure do. I don’t have a lot of friends, I never did because people would judge me because of how I acted. I’m very sensitive to the fact that friendships won’t last or best friends will be together for a long time. I never had a best friend, and most of my friendships were fake. So when I say talking is not my strong suit, I mean I just don’t want to say something and then get hurt. Talking is so complex with having to say the right things and adapting to new environments. With technology now it’s now harder to become friends with someone that just talks face to face. Today if you didn’t have technology you would definitely act differently without the influence which people may not find appealing. I don’t want to follow trends or talk how most people my age talk, which is why most people don’t find me appealing. To be honest I kind of like that now because I know someday because of how I’m different with my social awkwardness and anxiety it will get me far with my writing. I will go very far and people won’t know what happened and start thinking “how?” What I say is that I just, don’t talk. 






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