July 14, 2017

Have you ever lost something and found it only lose it once more? I keep feeling deprived of something essential to my daily life. It always leaves me feeling terrible. I feel depressed and feel that if I don’t permanently find what I keep losing, then I’ll ultimately wind up alone.

Happiness, I keep losing my happiness. Although sometimes I swear it feels like it gets stolen or “borrowed” without my consent. Just when I regain it, it’s stolen away, or I misplace it again. I suppose it doesn’t help that these thieves don’t even seem to realize what they’re doing or even care about how it makes me feel. They just live out their days with my happiness. I guess I should probably guard it more, to not let them steal it, but my security measures never seem to work as I then can’t remember where I put the key to unlock it. Half of the time I can’t even remember what the key is.


I’m the second youngest of seven, my two brothers and four stepsisters. I live with my parents, my brother, and my brother’s fiance. They’re the biggest thieves of them all. My brother and my mother are more sly about their thievery though, and I can’t decide if that makes them the worst or the best thieves. The other two are more upfront, and you know when you’ve been stolen from. I suppose they feel satisfaction from that fact.

Then, there are “friends” and strangers who need happiness so much that they’ll get it anywhere they can. “You seem happy. You look like you’ve got something put together. Let me have some of that.” You have twenty barrels of happiness, Peggie steals one, Ashlee steals five, Kaleb steals one, Lynda steals three, Geoff takes three, Erik steals two, Amigo snatches four, and somehow Extranjero steals two more. So, how many barrels do you have left?

I can never seem to hold on to my happiness. It’s something that I hold dear to my heart, and yet I always lose it. How is one to keep a grasp on something that keeps getting stolen as well? It seems very nearly impossible, and it’s downright frustrating. How do you trust people when the people you trust are often behind this thievery? No one wants someone in their life that is always unhappy either. Maybe it’s better to remain alone.

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